Meaning of my existence

While trekking through those cliffs I at times wonder, is it all worth it – encountering nature, nature’s plunder; making myself vulnerable to death even more, facing all those torments of thunder. But then when I see those lights – the red and blue thunder, I get a strange peace – in that voice of wonder. I feel that thrill , that ecstasy of the sound. I feel I am to no one – bound. Yeah, that freedom has its own beauty. Aah this lust for being free, free both from soul and body.

It is when I think about those moments so mundane – everyday the same game, same waking up – though in protective womb. But there is always a possibility of some bomb. But imagine the same getting up and eating, going to same places, same boring meetings. Where is the fun in it – that burger you may catch or that one moment so fleeting? Where is that breath of relief – after trekking to those cliffs so isolating.

I can’t live without mountains – the rivers the freedom they provide. I won’t call myself rootless, it is nature that I always desire. Not that I can live without people. I know they have their own importance- but it is mundane that suffocates me- the daily routine that I always want to shun. I just can’t handle this concept of a schedule –clutching yourself to that man made time. I want to flow with natural time’s own rhyme.

It is those heights that make me realize the meaning of my existence – which is not very immense. I might be a part of this entire cosmos, but from there high above – I am just a dot – hidden in some mountain floss.

Ever seen the entire city from that window of a plane? It is just blocks of green and brown – all scattered in various plots of a video game. No human is visible from that height. Just blocks of buildings – in some dotted sight. A few kilometers and we become invisible to the world. And imagine we have such high notions of ourselves in some bed all curled.

I wonder where those furs and diamonds go then when I look from that height?  No tiles visible , not even that kid smiling from some ride. No proof of life at all, except maybe a line of lights. For that you need to fly at night – and look real close to see that road of some sight – with a traffic turned all mobile.

But then are we just those cars or roads or even those patches? Are we those dancing people – lost in obliviousness – smoking chillums on some hilly sides? Who are we? What are we here for? What is the purpose of our life – is it to create our own strife? Yeah, we are now aware of many diseases - some are even cured i have heard. But wasn't there a news for some new killer disease the other day – or so I heard.

I ask, what are we running from or rather, what is it we are running for? Money could be a possible answer. But that is what I find all wrong. True, it has huge significance. How else do u expect to have some system in a world. But it becoming a purpose of life – that is what is the wrong turn.

And then I trek above only to reach yet another height. I look below at that world I keep leaving behind. But don’t I return to the same world again. And that is the world that brings any food at this height.  I think everything is fine. Everyone should  choose their own choice. For me it is here – these repeated heights. I find bliss beside rivers and seas and even forests’ nights. I love nature and the desire it instills inside.  I like those mansions too- but yes, of time passed by. those monuments and their transcendence – in some other time – some other rhyme. I love to get lost in those illusions – of me as a nature goddess or some princess on flight – all living so free in some other time – passed or yet to come bye.

Who knows it is all truth that comes to my head – in those instances of imaginations. Or maybe they are all my creations of illusions in times of seclusion. But they work for me nevertheless – those flights of imagination and yes these creations. And I find thrill while letting those rivers flow by me – with me lying below on those pebbles – all chilled so free.

Mystical Wanderer