Sunday, October 19, 2014

those inner pangs inside social gyre


at times staying inside your shell feels so good. no need to interact with anyone. no need to pick calls or pay heed to any of those unwanted suggestions. just cancel out all those awaited meetings - full of expectations from the other side. Be with yourself. Sleep for hours if you want. Cry, be rude, stay quite. Let out whatever you have inside. Listen to the music. Yell if you so want. Or just walk amidst stars and think for hours. Let people say whatever they want. Don’t pay heed or revert back if so required. Become invisible in your own surrounding. Leave ‘what would they think’ feeling for later for a while.
Keep yourself closed in your room without a bath until you feel like. Go for those empty long strolls for hours alone with nothing but music on headphones. Put your phone on blocked mode or keep it switched off – as per your mood. Pamper your misery- lust with all devotion.  Don’t talk to anyone. Keep a hard plastic face at all times. Melt inside under those pillows. Let your tears out intentionally by playing those sad slow songs again and again that remind you of something or someone no more in your life.
Do whatever you feel like to feed your melancholic thirst but yes, when it is all over, well, get done with it. Get up, give yourself a clean bath, dress up and fuck the world with bursts of happiness. Well, obviously, such sudden mood changes are not possible every time. But your will to turn the knob can work wonders, believe me.
All you have to do is to pay equal devotion to your happiness-hunger. Our natural state is a state of joy and cosmic bliss. Our moods and emotions are mere covers. All we have to do is to let us be free of those covers and realize our real selves – so pure – so free.  All we have to be is - happy.
So break all those dusty shackles of time and social impositions. Feel free to be happy as that is what you are made of. Love and joyfulness are the only elements that create us. Rest all are mere colors in that dish which people are intentionally made to be adapted in a particular fashion. That space called normative and society is nothing but a general utopia to provide a standard parameters against all realities. It is a mere human attempt to hold the centre in the middle.However, with each freedom attained, every smile, even each of those thoughts free of social constructions – well – the circle shifts. If not for all then at least in the circle of that one source - that gave birth to such feeling.  
So get up. Its your time to smile and shine as you know that above you is mere dust of time. Wipe off all those notions and dust off their pros and cons. Begin with your own beginning and end each of your life’s  meta narratives  - the way you want. After all, to be a writer and actor of your own story is one powerful feeling. You have the power to make all twists and turns the way you want. And those that come on their own – well they become external forces – to be handled by your head’s external affairs sector and your deep inside – remains calm, secured and at peace.
Isn’t body a micro country in its own way. It sure is. And being the parent or master of our little cosmic countries, well, it is our duty to safeguard them and ensure their prosperity. So what are you waiting for? I am sure, there is no harm in smiling out to the world one day and prove it all wrong with its so called normative notions. Even better is to prove none wrong but do what one feels right. And what could be better or more right but to be happy and spread smiles upon those faces around us – all worn and tired by obliviousness of those attacks of time. Make time your friend and it would begin to laugh with you on its own.  so be happy and keep smiling. I am sure melancholy would become a distant memory then – only to be laugh off or written those mocks upon.  
- mystical wanderer









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