Right between my lobes

A golden light
Right between my lobes
Only in some distance
Like you see that eclipse
On closing your eyes
Right after staring long
Into some bright light.
And I stand
In a black jacket
Threaded in sexy zig-zag
In middle
And I wear two ponytails
Along with baze trousers
Possibly posing
Amist blue water
Amidst pillars of some
Ancient cave.
Can it be a picturesque
Of my future?
Like those visions in my childhood
I used to stare?
The water is neck deep.
I feel scared.
No. Is it my death.
Fie.
I open my eyes.
What? Am I scared?
Remember? All my difficulties
Always led me
To a better fare.
Now what was that night
In a new city
Middle of road
In my eyes were tears.
Those three girls
They had thrown me
Out of their house.
I was new there.
What a pretty room she had.
Shimmering Lights everywhere.
But her heart
That was black.
Was it to teach me a lesson?
I was a careless hare.
But see they threw me out
So charcoal smeared
Next two months were
a blessing.
It was always better from there.
It's darkness that had always
Brought life to my sphere.
I close my eyes.
To take a dip
In the large blue mass
That enters everywhere.
Maybe the shots of death.
The beautiful end.
But why am I thinking of death?
A better life from here?
Aah! Death
You so sweet.
I embrace you here.
I open my eyes
To a camouflaged night
So starry smeared.

Ek dafa fir

Ek dafa fir
RU baru hona tha
Khoi galiyaan
Beete lamhe
Ko sanjona tha
Magar wo kal tha
Ye aaj hai
Wo ansu wo khuyian
Wo guzar gye
Kuch kal they hum
Kuch aaj badal gye
Aaj wahi ped hai
Wahi chaata
Bus din nahi
Raat hai
Aaj ki bhi
Kuch alag baat hai
Par tum nahi ho aaj saath
Aaj bhi hmare liye
Utna hi khaas hai.
Kuch muskura SA dete hain
Bus in lamhon par
Par ab Ankhein Nam nahi hoti
Shayad ret ke upar
Ek nahi leher guzrri hai
Dekho to
Ek nai subah nikhri hai.

First meets

The first meets
Unthought
Unexpected.
They just happen.
So spontaneous.
Like a small play
Of destiny.
Or maybe
Just slightly
Your choice.
The conversation
It is supposed to be
Infinite.
Sometimes
It does.
Or else
A silent surprise.
But the comfort.
That is crucial.
And charm
That rests in vibes.
Aura connections.
Split between
What is
What may.
Should be.
Who knows?
And you stay
Right in the moment.
That when they happen
The first meets.

- Mystical Wanderer

Calm of deep

The calm of deep
Sea beneath.
Down here is peace.
The roots of love.
But then
The surface.
Full of thoughts.
The waves.
Paper, strings, reel.
To be moist.
All dried.
I take
Another leap.
Down into
The sea.
This time
to reappear
With a large gulp
Of peaceful breath.
I pamper the shore
Dried sand afore.
I make it wet.
I feel soaked
In love, in desire
Of what mights
Of Wow this!
Another flight
Touching sky.
Flapping my wings
I dance in Jinx.
De`ja`vu
Had to.
Happening.
The moment.
The wings.
I land back
To that one barren shack
Broken and experienced
Like me
Like we.
And then I jump
Into the roots
The calm of deep
The sea.

- Mystical Wanderer

Key of life

I used to be anxious
To loose
The people in my life
The beautiful moments.
But I just realised
That nothing is
In my hands.
That my own life
Is not decided
By me.
And if it is all
A theatre
Then I should be
Carefree
About my role
In this play
Or others' character.
That after all
It is all a play
Me, you
And they.
Then why
Are we here?
To be entertained
Or become
Entertainment.
And for whom?
If everything is energy
And the stars
Hold power
Over us
Then the same applies
To those stars
And zodiac signs.
If I am part
Of the entire cosmos
Then I am cosmos.
And maybe that is why
We are all born
This high.
To emit different energies
And produce
Energies.
And together
We manipulate
The universe
And we create
The moon and earth.
I dance here
For my rest
Of cosmic ground.
To emit
The energy of joy
For this moment
I feel out of Maya
While being in it.
Attachments with detachments
That's it.
That's the key of life.
To live life and let life
Live by.
For nothing is
In my hand.
And yet I am.
And that matters.

Evolve together

The reddish silver smile
In a night sky
Or may be an eye.
More of a slope
Between two mounts.
Takes me to Himalayas.
I come back.
Into this moment.
With my hands resting
Behind on ground
I stay connected
To earth.
Attracting moon
To me.
Just you and I.
Just we.
The moon and me.
The silver building beside
Goes in background.
And the moon highlights
A smile in the sky.
Maybe a gold necklace
Below a pretty face.
Now it seems like a robe
Golden robe.
But I am happy.
I find it pretty.
Comfortable.
Full of love.
Warm.
The smile becomes
A sarcastic nose
On the past.
But no.
It was good.
Too good
To be nostalgic.
But no more.
This - this moment.
Moon.
I.
And I dance
To the beautiful
Feeling.
Of flowing with flow.
My heart seems open.
To love. To beauty.
I am flying.
Along with
the ones I love.
And I will expand
Evolve
Together
With all.

You the flame, I the oil

It's after a long time
That we met.
You the flame
And I the oil.
I thought this time
We will become a lamp
We will find
Our own earthen camp.
With love I flowed
Towards you
On my own.
With hunger you caught
Once again my finger
And then at one go
You engulfed me all.
Again bereft of my entity
Again you made me
Your fuel.
Only this time
I no more wanted
To spread over you
And destroy you.
For I understood
That the way you behaved
 is your nature.
And it is not
My nature
To destroy you.
Adieu flame!
Off I flow.
To find my own bottle
Maybe I will be
A perfumed cure.

Otherworldliness

Here I am
Standing amidst roots
Where I belong.
Yet I can so feel
The alieness
It is somewhere else
I belong.
I try to escape
Through music
In moon
In visions
In prosodic.
But I know
It is here that I stand
Comfortable in my skin
Able to comprehend.
Yet it is
Somewhere else
Where I sit.
River, hills, blue Street
Lush greens required
Not busy street.
How I hate city.
How I crave
For the forest.
But I have an injury
Some wild animal
Bit my leg
To be healed
In this city!
Probably
I should carry my scar
Like a tattoo.
Only the wound
Doesn't dry.
It gets widened
Every hour.
The pain
I carry proudly.
It is in me
It flows
The otherworldliness.

Farewell Bangalore

Faretheewell Bangalore. Can't believe - time passed away so quickly. It was so fucking spontaneous - so beautiful - so unplanned. Every moment was warm and a new experience.
A new family, new friends. And I was bothered about turning nostalgic. Balls. Bangalore indeed is therapeutic.
So was this solo trip. Aaah! I will stay in this hangover for days to come. So many tales, so much to think of.
There in city, Hampi will seem like another world - so far. And the people - so like an illusion.
The rocks and roads, my mopid.
And then this happy reception of Bangalore.
Can't say am happy going back home. Yet it is all for good.
My instincts take me to the right venture - the faith in cosmos.
This time, am carrying yet another skill - the city has this way of chiseling my creativity.
Crazy, how I pick up something new every time I come here.
Cheers to canvases, the colors and new medium of expression.
This was long awaited. And finally the canvas is no more virgin.
New shades to uncover, new visions to unfold. I feel hollow and yet pregnant with a new seed. I hope it happens more b further - the creativity.
The most surprising was how I still remember each n every lane of Bangalore. And how I have simply deleted those childhood lanes of Delhi.
Nonethess, Delhi has home. Another journey begins here. This time even brighter.

To Bangalore

28th August - 3:55
Wow... What a random beginning. Like I have no hold over reality... It's just happening all around... Quite a positive generation - the way it has evolved...
A ride checking my traits... Till some patient quees .. Till the gentle lady I met and became friends with.
Was so emotional to leave my place... Excited for Bangalore.

28 Aug 4 A.M
To Bangalore then! Can't believe yet. Feels like am returning home. Only that there is no home, neither the same people. Nonetheless, the connections matter. And that is what is picking me up for this exploration.
It's a journey - probably more inside with the outside. Who knows what lies in store.
Too many words for so pious a moment.
I have this mixed expression on my face with dried tears and excited heart.
I miss my home, still the journey I wanna kick-start. The jolts of flight are but teasers. Like bang! Wait! Bang! Wait. And the game is still waiting for the flight to take off... For the signal... For that one sign and there the spirit takes a flight.
And the wings they can feel the wind, they can estimate with the breeze flowing from sea towards a dry earth waiting for it's monsoon.
The vapours interact with that thirst soon to be quenched. Or who knows, I gain yet another desire, one more dream.
It's funny how I again and again come back to this beautiful web of dreams, imagination, reality, truth, illusion... And thence, all questions undergo a metamorphoses and transcend I to exclamation from interrogation.

Every night -  till morning I watch those passing flights wondering about people going to places in different directions - going to new mornings in new attires. After a long time, I will be high in air - one of those people in the air.

28th August 7:47 AM
Having a filter kaafi at Bangalore's airport. The first step out of my flight was refreshing and cold - damn cold. Gradually I adjusted to the temperature. I felt nostalgic for Delhi's warmth like that of a mother. Then I remembered how much difficult it was for me to bear Delhi's heat initially. So I welcomed Bangalore's weather and got nostalgic for everyday that was pleasant in this city
I'm waiting for my cab now - none of my friends here to pick me. Am solo. I could have conversed with the guy sitting next to me in flight but don't know why I didn't. Probably I was too tired. Now I feel better after my short power nap in the plane.
I'm in no hurry. The weather is beautiful, and so is my spirit.
Am here to close doors of my past and paint another beautiful picture there.

In love

It's a beautiful moment
Have fallen
In love with myself
Again
And it feels beautiful
Colourful and energetic.
I feel my skin
So smooth
I caress it
Had ignored it
For long.
And I hug myself
For being so strong.
Silly desires
I now want them.
Those dreams kept
At a window sill
I want them all.
And I will make them
Real
For myself.
Have fallen
In love with myself.
And I feel so wiped clean.
Freshly born
Into this being.
A beautiful beginning
Have fallen
in love with myself
Again.
I can feel the magic
Happening
The one that happens
When you are in love
Like I see the moon
Suddenly
I laugh
For no reason.
I feel content
With my life.
I wanna feel and give
just love.
And I feel connected
To the world at large
Through this small thread
The thread of love.
And I feel so powerful
Like I can move earth
And feel it's soul
Beyond surface
Into it's depths.
I think I have fallen
In love with myself
Again.
- Surbhi Rohera

It closed for best

It was beautiful
The time that we had
I cherish each moment
Even your scent
The joy of union
Doing art.
Every prance, each laughter
Our world from rest
Apart.
We closed the book
The next chapter
Had a risky start.
Or who knows
For it died
The spirit between
Feeling alive.
No, the connection
That is still there
Or so I believe.
But am tired
Of carrying this weight.
This doing of fate.
And I think
It closed for best.
For how else
Would it have been
Differently
Same like rest.
But that was unique
What we had.
Now that it is no more
It fails to seem
Like something to be had.
In absence it was present
Until I decided
To relax.
To let those Barbies
Of my childhood
Be inside
A closed shelf.
With this I dab
the last amber
And put the bud
With respect
Deep into the
Layers of time
A golden ball
Now to accept.
And move on
To the life ahead.
The one with new
Sunrise new
Sunset!
- Surbhi Rohera

Kids made of love

Imagine the kids made of
Core love
Not just a relationship.
They are born not
For the sake of it
But because
They are supposed to be
There.
Imagine the passion, the extreme
The purity in which
The DNA is mixed.
Imagine a world
Made of kids
Full of passion and love.
Output of an intimate kiss.
On that cold bare shoulder
Touch of moist lips.
One little caress
And borns
A sensation, a bridge.

Stoic

After all those tremors
There was silence.
Deep silence.
It caused no pleasure,
No pain.
It was stoic.
Like a world
Which never existed.
Like an absence and not
Presence - felt more.

Of rise and fall

The voices of centuries
Talk through those walls
The ancient Grandeurs
Of rise and fall
The mystique tells
A tale so old
Of royalty,
Amidst commoners
About journeys
Of love and war.
Listen with that ear
Get closer to the wall
Maybe you are lucky
To have a wisp, a call.

And when you do
Hear a voice
To get surprised
Just connect
To the past with heart
Give your life
Another start.
And be what you are
Destined to be.
And become exactly
What you want to be.

Between passion and profession

They say
Follow your dreams
They want
An expensive stream.
A bridge
To be made
Between passion and professional
An image in real
To create and relate.
The meanings change
With centres of the circle
Sometimes
The entire image
Shifts it's epicentre.
And yet
The stoic image
That relates
To everything invisible
But not an empty slate.
Available to be wiped clean
Of time
Of deeds.
Ready for a new dome
Inside embedded.
Look that's the movie
Of death and life.
Along with survive
It means to revive.

Expectations

All those hopes
From the good old
Version of you
Suddenly generalised
In the doings of
Some mentality
With cruelty.

Empty vessel

The empty vessel craved
For one more drop
To fill it atleast
With a single block
But the emptiness filled it
Deep till it's root.
An empty progression of a pregnant root.

Reason to smile

Knowledge is there
But the pain
This hollowness.
I try to treat it.
Look for a reason to smile.
Cause of happiness.

I keep dancing
Like always
Without any reason.
But that happiness know
That is missing.
It enters in
And then vanishes
Into thin air.
The hasty steps
With a sudden boost of energy
Heart craves to be happy.
But the thoughts
They too seem missing.
Or they bring anger.
Guess am even done with
Nostalgia.
It's more of an empty space.
Like a patch of soil scared
To die barren.
Like a bird
Afraid
To just be shot
One fine day
And not have
Her destined flight.
The soul inside
Tried to give advice.
It says,
'Time keeps changing.
Remember that day
You were crying
In a corner
Long back
Thinking
Your world was over.
But it was not.
It was difficult.
But you were strong.
You faced it all.
Crying inside.
Yet standing tall.
And the time did change.
A dream life
Happened in your fate.
Then another such night.
Remember? Another room
Another city
You were crying
Kissing walls
Afraid to leave
What you called
Your stall.
But you left
To find
An even better den.
Wilderness was inside
Wild outside.
You loved it all
Jumping at every call.
And this is yet another phase.
Probably too hazy
To make sense of it now.
Hold on. Grab on to life.
You can do it.
You have done it
So far
At every fall.'

But I feel lost
Bewildered and stopped.
I am unable to fly
A strange weight inside
Something covers me
A pale shroud.
I feel the gloss missing.

'Never mind. It will all be fine.
Keep dancing..keep trancing.
Have faith in yourself.
You gonna rock it.
You have been
An inspiration.'

But I feel lost.
Like a ship
Dooming every moment
Deep into the sea.
Drowning into that darkness
So silent. So alone.
I doubt my fire.
I am done with desire.
Or probably it is
Too much of desire.
I just hate to compromise.
I would rather have none
If rather than my share
I get some.
I want to have what I want
And I detest cunning crowd.
I seek peace and love.
I wanna travel.
It's music I wanna make.
It's art I wanna create.

'Then do it.
Who is stopping you.
Dive in
Like you always do.
You had always taken
Blind shots.
What scares you?'

Nothing. Nothing scares me.
I am afraid of anything.
Also I need nothing.
None for strength.
Or so I feel.
But there are times
When I wanna depend on someone.
I want love in Lee.

'Really?
Had you not been
An anti- attachment person?'

I will say
I want to be
An anti-attachment person.
But am not.
Also that's not
What I mean here.
It's that pole star
I seek
To show me
The right direction.
From a panopticon vision
From that cloudy peak.

'Woah! Why are you trying to be
So fucking righteous.
Since when have you began
to calculate
Risks so malicious.
Jump on. Take the step.'

Aah! I feel lost.
So direction less.

'Have faith. Believe yourself.
It will all be fine.
Leave on time.

Cool Yo.
I leave on time.
Test of time.
Yet even this time
I will stand tall.
I will still be fine.
No challenge for you
My destiny
I still believe
In cosmos, in my entity.
I don't need a reason to be happy
The moment I decide
To be happy
Here I smile.

- Surbhi Rohera

Sensation is intense

The skin craves for touch
That one sensation
To pluck out the clutch
Can it be some kind
Of hysteria?
Should I call it abnormal
To not consider
Or change so easily.
To no more crave.
To one day long for it.
To another detest it.
Indeed, the sensation
Is intense.
For I can feel my
Entire nervous system.
It's sensitive creed.
I notice my breath
Suddenly
Heaving at some pace.
I lie flat down on bed.
But the feet
They touch each other
Until my legs simply fold
And anxiety out of those
knees - Flutter.
I feel so energetic and restless
Yet something inside
craves to surrender.
Not like a battle field,
But a place to give your all
A vent for your inner thunder.

I add on effects
With some playlist
It says
Sensual musiq.
I wonder when will
The chords
Touch my heart.
I wait till end from start
Strange beats
Surprisingly cheap.
It kills my mood
This strange musiq.
So I switch
To my own inner noise
Of songs of past
Of imagined choice
The lures of highs and lows
The trance of prancing core.
And I feel perplexed
In the intensity of the moment
Until the doorbell rings
Enters - the mysterious scent.

-Surbhi Rohera

The moments alone

The moments alone
Are no longer a botheration
I wonder how I can spend now
Hours, days, weeks
Even months.
Silent.
Not speaking to anyone.
Not thinking of anyone.
But a picturesque
Of unconnected thoughts
And unplanned doings.
Some contemplations.
Imagined wooings.
But I don't mind it.
Except sometimes.
When the heart cries
All of a sudden.
The glass full
Uptill the brink.
And I crave
For those arms
To not hold me.
Rather, to move right along
And dance.
And I miss those sounds
Of morning conversations
On hills, on ground.
And I seek
Some new connections.
I crave for
Psychological satisfaction.
Sometimes,
I do get disturbed
By random interested suitors.
By strange set of hands.
And I coil inside
By the sudden force of it.
Or probably
I do let it hit.
But it's always
That the circle rotates.
And I find it
Much better
Inside my shell.
Inner peace.
The calm state.
So I clean up the slate.
To begin yet again.
The journey inside.
Deep inside
The shallow plain.

- Surbhi Rohera

Hopes

It's very depressing
The dull rain these days
I feel so happy at one moment.
The very next, I feel enraged.
Maybe we call these
Mood swings.
Maybe this is
Some level of being insane.
Wasn't life maddening enough?
Aah! That was insane.

But I am a fighter.
Fighting fate everyday.
Once I was proud of my life
The fact that I had stood for my faith.
And it seemed inspiring
To the world.
Or so was my intention.
To make them believe
In their dreams.
To just have this die hard attitude
Towards all your desires
Until achieved.
Stars were in my favour.
In Karma I had belief.
But Time took it's toll.
Showed me places
I never wanted to see.
And here I sit experienced
Watching the time's spree.

And now I feel
It's not enough to just dream
Until your hard work
Doesn't meet with good luck
It all goes wasted.
You keep slipping
At every steep.

But then I wonder
Am I trying enough?
Isn't it a temporary relief?
I have instead
Closed my eyes
Waiting for the road
To help me get free.
I have entered the core of earth
And I dream of a passenger
Walking on crust
To just know
There is life deep below
And undug me out
And help me somehow
And make me utilise
My power to my surprise.
Have I forgotten the magic?
Is it all gone.

Fie! Said the inner voice.
You have it all.
Get up.
Atleast take the first step.
And it will all be
A cake walk.
Just believe
In your lines and hand.

But which way, which side?
What if, it's another curve
To the ditchy ride?

More the curves, better it is.
Highs and lows
Satisfy senses.
That's how you feel.
That's how you believe.
It's a test of time.
Just listen to your
Inner rhyme.

Till when? I wonder.
What if it remains forever.
What if the dream happens never?
What if I die tommorow?
I won't regret as such
The way I have settled
In this cosy nest.
Just the dream of that flight
Will die with me.

Provided, you let it.
Have patience.
You have it all.
Your lines too
Have a loyal call.
Just be happy
And fix it.
It is all in your mind
The lows or heights of it.
Have faith and wait.
And one day
Set it right.
Probably now.
Maybe tommorow.
What is important
Is to believe in your flight.
Time keeps playing.
Trick is - to keep glowing.
To wear your scars
Like jewels.
To not complain.
But change your rules.
Cosmos knows it all.
Nature won't let you fall.

Hopes! Sometimes they seem so shallow.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Ambitions killed alive

If I say 'Yes'
Echoes back 'No'
If I consider a beginning
I am asked
'How come you?'
I surrender to the time
And enter my grave
Upon my own feet.
Here the lid is ignored.
Faces don't even peep.
But some do
Either out of love
Or maybe duty.
To curse, to question
To remind me of my duty.
I get up
All zombied
To look at a town
Of elite.
Where things appear
Which are not.
Where mundaness
Is the only call.
More I think of life
More it kills me from inside.
And I wish for some deadly disease
I can't live with time on freeze.
The patience is still there
But I can feel it
The death of my golden hair.
Bit by bit I die everyday.
Probably I miss the life
I miss today.
Graves get boring if
You are still alive.
Life seems venomous
When ambitions are killed alive.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Bonds of love

The rabbit felt caged despite of two pretty kids taking care of it -feeding it, pampering it. But world outside had freedom. He thought about all the risks involved - the survival moments...and yet, freedom was what he craved for. If only he was not chained with love.
There was no restriction as such but he knew that his going will make those kids really sad. And the rabbit loved those kids alot.
He had left the world, it's freedom, the green forest - just for the sake of love.
But the forest still entered his psyche - day and night - as if his soul was left behind.
And yet, he felt lucky to get so much of true love and care - which was simply impossible anywhere else.
If only, the kids had a home in forest. But that would have pulled them in danger. Aah!How complicated can life be sometimes. He thought of the green grass, the blue sky. Inside those walls, there were cushions and luxuries of all kinds. But no ground to run and no air to breath.
The kids loved him alot but they felt sad coz the rabbit had forgotten to hop. They wanted him to jump and run inside their walls or in balcony. Was it possible? Could the vivacity of a forest be ever compromised with those walls? Rabbit used to wonder.
The kids were worried for him. They even asked him to go for his pleasure. But the rabbit knew that they will be alone without him. That he was one of their happiness.
Only sometimes, things used to go offhand. His mention of forest was suffice to bring that sadness and defense upon those children's faces. He knew he couldn't get happy at the cost of their happiness.
Only that sometimes, the kids used to get angry with his sadness and say, 'You just don't wanna run. If you were happier in forest, why did you come back? Go away if you want to. We don't care. You were never ours. You are just selfish'.
The rabbit used to get really sad for he really loved them way too much. Be knew it was their love that had become anger with time. He just didn't feel like running inside those walls.
He dreamed of forest but was attached to those walls. He craved for his freedom and independence, but also loved his bondage of love.
Sometimes, life doesn't leave you with much of a choice but to let it all happen. However, you often wonder - till when..
Until one day, you just take a decision and decide the next course of your life.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Waiting

 DAY 1
Waiting for the boy in white
The first time I held his sight
Red lips, mesmerizing eyes
Shy and shocked
Gestures nice.
Eye looked
The captured sight.
It happened again
Early ride.
And now
The soul craves.
For more.
For further raves.
I wish
You here.

DAY 2
Will he come
Will he not?
I wonder waiting
I look at the bird.
But I feel caught
Rather I want to be.
It's windy.
It feels free.
But will you come
Let's kickstart
A new wind 
A changed heart.

It's been few minutes.
Can't wait.
Shouldn't?
Want to.

Crazy? Insane?
I am.
Is it useless?
Will it be something?
Well, maybe!



DAY 3
Fuck it.

Upon green grass

Arm in arm on the green grass
High up on hills
In southern floss
She had a person beside
After so long
Someone's side
There they had explored
A wooden battered cottage
Inside it was a hay bed
With none to own
But them to sit
And there they decided
To make it their home
Atleast for the moments
They could make it
Their dome.
Hence the place
Filled with life
In lush green beauty
Filled giggles and joys.

Child of Lightening

Born with the power of lightening
Am eternally thunderstruck
Rain and storm are my kins
To the world
I give a fuck

There is chill that runs down my spine
It is playful
All power is my tame
The silver behind clouds
Makes strange maze
Noise enough
To give it a chaotic range
I am eternally thunderstruck
For the beat goes on
In the noisy storm
Am peace right after
And before the norm
A masked cloud
Like eyes in shroud

Sky is mine
So is the wind
Lightening strikes
To make me one
With wind.

Stoic I sit

Only sometimes, you can't respect someone you wanted to respect...
You don't know why the uncertainties lie.
You wonder about the exit door.
A nostalgic awe for past,
A fond care for present
An anxious sway for future.
And suddenly it all goes blank
Like that machine
Counting heart beat.
And you want to love
Like it's the last time ever.
And you want to run
For who knows
You may again never.
And you cross the latitude
With an affirmative.
To make a positive
Out of negative.
And yet
Both exist.
In all directions
The lines that we see
The easy fractions.
In mind
Is a single image
Followed by a series of them.
They all struggle
For priorities.
Should I pity
The minorities.
Aah! Politics again.
And I crave for rain.
To wash off
Every pleasure
Each pain.
For who knows
What's in the name.
And stoic I sit.
One hit. One pit.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Some human connections

I can't say how happy I feel
Some human connections
After a long ordeal
Some conversations to touch my head
And hence reach heart
Some old connections
Some very new starts
It's beautiful
This feeling
Of being happy
For a strange reason
Some verbal exchange
With sense
And natural connections.
Later it may seem insane.
For who dances at a sudden rain.
But I do. For I live
Too earthlike
So often
So stiff
And there a sudden gush
Of a little stream
Springs.
And like a peacock
I dance today
To this rain
In a beautiful mind
In a rainbow
Insane.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Technology has advanced

I at times wonder how beautiful the time was when pigeons used to carry our messages. For how great out telepathy would have been how advanced and connected our psyche... To talk with nature is a beautiful gift we have lost almost emails and phone calls.
Indian history reveals alot about our capabilities. Remember that vehicle of Rama in Ramayana 'Pushpak vimaan' - it could fly. The nucleur power was evident in wars of Mahabharata. 
Kauravas were Test tube babies for they were born in pots. 
A long mythology of Gods with heads of different bodies and many arms or tail or wings - all reveal not just human imagination but the advancement of our minds and the way they worked.
Technology has advanced - or so we say. 
The purpose however is lost in this race.
The trees have life too - science has finally agreed.
I at times wonder - how was it - to be a tree.
I wish I can talk with nature more often
Without going far to the mountains or at sea.
At times it is possible
When I look at those stars
When I talk with moon
So free.
But then, you know
Science is advanced.
For I hear
Man has reached moon.
And people are planning to buy land there
As soon as water is found
And it is draped with
Technology.

- Mystical Wanderer

Full moon night

The night of light
Full moon of delight
But mysteries of world
Are still unread
The birth of life
The end of death
The giant wheel of karma
The deeds of dharma
There are fascinations and stories
Mythical histories
Crafted threads of fantasies
Magnificent realities
The forts, villas and cottages
Beside oceans, rivers different ages
It all keeps changing
Seconds so multi ranging
I see a shadow of myself
In some other body
Silhouette like gel
It was firm and beautiful
fighter like attitude
But the places keep swirling
In a fraction
New dwelling
I keep dancing and enlargening
To earth, to moon
To the whole universe
I feel hollow
With pangs of celestial bodies in my body
It's a ticklish feeling
Moon falling on me
It passes through me
Like am nothing
And I feel hollow
So empty of everything
And the moonlight
Becomes celestial light
Spread all inside me
All around me
For I feel like a gelly
Only ether on rally
The lights of my stars
Is spread in every scar
And I feel energised
So powerful so bright
And yet it's too light a feeling
Inside moon I am dwelling
And I all silver in color
You are mine
And I am
Your moongirl 

The mysterious lady

The dish TV with AC below it
Looks like a lady in moonlight
So I turn my eyes
At one specific angle
And there I behold

The mysterious lady
The music is functional
In terms of my stay
Here on this dark way
But it's beautiful
Moon in full bloom
In clear grey sky
That lady a bit shy
Some orange lights
Nearby
Caution or mundane
Why the orange light
Oh ya. This is
Yet another norm
Of the world
So far from storm
Or possibly
throughout in it
For I see my lady
So blank
So amiss
Coz she turns electrical
Dead set of gadgets
When I look at her
But from a certain angle
She surely is an angel
But oh! The only star in sky
Why are you alone
So aloof, so wry
For the world at night
Is to be happy
And smile
It is you for yourself
It's totally your time
Under moon light
So shiny bright.

I won't look at you
Anymore
Alone you seem
Too powerful
Too sure
For your confusions
You hide.
From anxities
You slide.
Yet the core
Stays cold.
Right in the middle of lava
So warm so pure.

And you be you
Until you digest this crew
And feel that moon
Right beside
Waiting to dance
Right by your side.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

It's all good

I feel like a sunflower
Holding on to the last breath
At a window sill
Trying to reach
That last ray of light
To keep me alive
To help me fight

It's all good
I always say
For I still bloom
Golden like the first day
I seem unaffected
By layers of dust
Layers of time
For I will still bloom
Till the end if time.

And I wonder
For my next ride out
Out in the wild
Out in sun.

And I will tell you a secret
I love moon
And the sky beneath
So grey.
For when in clouds
The moon seems like an eye
Shining just at me
A bit shy.
The stare is intense
For it shudders me
To the core.
And yet I feel bliss
Like never before.

So I hang on
To the last ray
Of the sun
For I wait to see
My moon on spun.

Probably that's why am here
On this window sill
On earth
To see beauty
And beauty become I
To be open to give and receive
The sensation of truth and beauty
The feeling of love.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

And I feel complete

No moon, no stars
Can't even feel my scars
In the darkness the spirit rose
But oh look close
A plane passing by
There stars so high
I just saw a constellation
It feels free this sensation
Perfect peace in the moment
No anxiety, No storm.
Live for the others
Something I found always wrong
I isolated myself from all
For my nature
Was to fall
In every fall.
My need amidst my people
It was my duty
To help every creature
So I went to a land
To explore my stand
And I lived for my self
None in life
Solo cell.
But the happiness was incomplete
They felt lonely
Lovely streets.
I came back all confused
Why do I want
The same heat to cool
But now I feel
It has been my need
To live for others.
It wasn't their need.
To live means
To be able to be of need.
And I realised
It is in others' happiness
Lies life
Coz we are all one
There is no another sun
It is all in me
The world at large
Every it, every me.
And hence I sit
Merging in this dark
A puff of peace
A single dot
And I feel complete
So small. So large
No anxities required
No end, no start.

This too shall pass

2nd March, 2016

Sitting in my one month old room, I am planning to leave Bangalore. There are so many things to pull me to Delhi - my home, Momcy, Japanese park, gym, old friends, old dreams, monuments, hang out places... and yet.. beyond all ... there is deep pain to leave Bangalore. In past one year I did so much, learned so much, found so much of love here, underwent so deep a journey ... I am a completely new self now.
One year back, I was broken. This city gave me shelter, gave me so many experiences. I met all kinds of people. Felt great, felt sad. I got my besti here. I got people with whom I share nothing less than a soul connection. I made myself a traveler here. and I managed to live all on my own for an entire year. Time to take the next step. Time to move on. Bangalore gave me so much. I need to keep going. I can't stay here forever. And yet, I know how much I love this city. For I attained a huge self of mine here. 
Maybe it is change that is bothering me. Maybe it is separation from something I cherished from bottom of my heart. I can't be at two places at the same time. Plus how can I be a traveler if I can't leave a single location. I shouldn't be this attached to one place. But why not. Guess, this makes me a true traveler - for I made a completely alien place - my home. It is just this feeling, that next time I will come to Bangalore, I won't have a cosy colorful den - waiting for me to open it and enter it's womb. 
But then I think of my mother. Not that I don't miss her or her absence here doesn't make me sad. But my love can never be equal to her for she gave me life. I wonder how she handled her pain of getting separated from her own daughter. I must go and live with my family or at least live somewhere where we can be together whenever we feel like. 
And I should be rather be happy right now for I have a comfy home with an eager family waiting for me with all their love spilling from the brink. Somehow I have always been bad at handling attachments. At the same time I do get attached. To every small iota of my life that has significance to my soul.
Right now I have a solo trip in mind for which I may leave like tomorrow. Maybe I should just do it. Like leave for the trip then leave for Delhi and not give Bangalore another thought at all. And yet, it is so embibed in my life and life style that it is getting difficult to imagine myself anywhere but here.
But that is how it is always there with me. I don't like separation part. Once I reach a new place, it becomes all happy and dream like. But all that while I knew I had to return to my life in Bangalore. Similarly I also knew that I had to return back to my home.
Probably that shouldn't be my confusion at all. I should focus on my career. I wish even that was simple. Despite of all my seriousness and result oriented approach, there are so many factors to be considered that it all seems like a nicely crafted web with threads from different garlands strangled together. Patience? Force? Concentration? Strategy? Faith? 
Mumbai can be my next halt. But all that after fixing up something concrete.
At times, I wonder, did I know about my present in my past. I had never imagined these many changes in my life. Likewise, I have no idea what future has in store for me. It all happens for a reason I guess. A good reason - I believe. I should let myself loose I know. I have all faith in divine and cosmos. But the pain is nevertheless there. For changes are always painful no matter how many positive implications they bring along. This too shall pass.

Written by -Mystical Wanderer

When you dislike someone

It's a funny emotion
this feeling of hate
like when you dislike someone
too much that you disregard
that the person is human
or even more - a girl.
The stereotypical mindset
plays action.
Tries to judge
character and nerves.
Mind judges IQ
and gets disappointed.
Heart checks EQ
Shruds with the dark sight.
But why hate, I wonder.
Coz, I am not bad enough?
Or I am not smart enough.
She uses fools to make her ends meet.
Manipulates some. Dominates some.
Makes use of her mind.
If I can't be like her
isn't it my weakness.
Probably I have
the same self inside.
How else would I have
understood her design then.
But like that
I also understand
so many other things
Light from dark
Liquid from solid.
Isn't it the work of my senses
and later the rationale.
But wasn't it my belief
that there is nothing
like right and wrong?
That it is all an illusion.
It is all about perception.
Can it be
because I have good intentions.
And they are not understood.
Maybe.
But why am I bothered
about her then?
Shouldn't I be only limited
to making maximum efforts
to get my good intentions
conveyed.
Fie! Do I even care?
He is a fool.
Trusting wrong people.
Getting the platform doomed.
But how can I say that?
I don't know them personally.
Isn't my judgement
out too soon.
Guess it is more about instincts.
How I observe
each sunrise
every moon.
The biased part comes out
pretty loud.
So do the senseless
irritating
breaths and her bosom's swoon.
Aaah! She disgusts me
for it is not work but
her ugly craft
that is her boon.
Imagine she managed
to affect me so much
that she became a character
in my mental bloom.
Guess things will be out
at their own time.
When either she will
simply leave
leaving the stage in doom
or maybe she gonna keep dancing
with all her masks upon her face
till one day the stage will
break open
and she gonna eat it all
from gigantic teeth
and dumb mouth.

The spirit was free

She was a vegetable once
until she shrilled an outcry
there the world smiled
the fair and lovely
new born child
She was taught to talk and walk
loved so much
scolded in some runs.
Sensitive and sensible 
she grew pretty well
but the spirit was free
it was a different gel.
She was shown the shiny moon
when she was aged 2
at 20 she wanted
to taste nature's bloom
her dreams were of flight
she loved elemental boom
with wind and rain
she conversed
with thunder 
she felt delight.
Her mother knew
she won't be able to hold her long
for despite of her love
her freedom was further strong.
And one day she out-stepped
the fairy fort
the fate so secured.
For she belonged to the gypsies
those different from the crowd.
An artist, a free soul
a mysterious spirit was she.
Through forests, mountains and rivers
glided she so free.
But she missed her home. 
Missed those that gave her entity.
But she loved her freedom.
This being wild in immensity.
She was made of extremes 
and she knew it.
She couldn't be kept inside.
She drooled on it.
Time and again
when the world was rude
she thought of all the love
that her mother always outpored
time and again
when the things were so fine
she missed to laugh
along her family 
dancing in golden rhyme.
But she had her own journey.
Road on which
only she was supposed to be.
For even if she missed her home.
Somehow it is in journey
she found her vision of Om.
She often wondered
why was she doing it 
why the world ruing it.
At times she felt happy
wherever she went
at times she felt everywhere
something is missing
From point A 
point B seemed better.
At point C
Point D seemed bitter.
Life seemed like 
a pendulum at times.
At times a group of crossways
many options - every time.
At times even decisions 
seemed burdensome.
At times to take her own decision
was itself a struggle.
But her freedom ensured one thing,.
The free spirit 
never did things unlike her wish.
For she followed her heart
in every turning.
She focused on her concise
in every spring.
So she had no regrets.
every decision had been her own.
Every repercussion was 
from her own stem.
Except sometimes
she felt sad.
for the things that she lost
for the things she must had had.
But her freedom was intact
even if her wings
now seemed black
But she was still waiting 
for her giant flight
only she wished
she could have taken 
her people alongside.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

To be free

While I trek through these unknown ways, in sunny rays, hilly ways; I wonder about the crouching heat, the people in need. Some reactions uncalled, some fractions on fall. I walk and walk, helping one and all. I wonder and I wonder again. The immense beauty, the hilly game. The entire night spent in moonlight. The bright and happy morning sunlight. And the time keeps changing - in cycles - enraging. 

I travel through boundaries. So far from some, so near to many themes. I drink the wisdom from rivers through centuries. I stare in the water I flow through it's immensity. And at times it feels I go forever - like that river shivering beneath. 

I sit in a boat the round one - on float. We go round and round like a mountain goat. Far to the islands far off to that land. Across the river. so near those mountains, We treble in moss, We walk by moss.

And there I sit along with beautiful souls, the spirit of forest in eyes on shore. I glide inside the natural jacuzzi in the heart of snowy water bubbling and streaming with joy so pure.

There I reach a vast lonely island. In the sky twinkle numerous stars. upon those waves shimmer star fishes. It seems magical - this moment alone. I feel so aligned to the cosmos to the core. I feel like singing to the wind, to the shore.

It's a happy feeling. This singing my heart out. It's so joyful - this raging to the tunes of divine. And here I reach so near to my family. In the lap of my mother. Being caressed by her smile so sweet. She caresses me gently. With her palm beneath. With watery eyes she praises me to be free. She knows me inside. She loves my inner zeal. In each dream or reality of my life, she is always there with me. 

And there in her lap I find peace. i find peace. She hugs me another time. And makes me have a long deep sleep. I wake up again in yet another dream. Some figment from past maybe. O r who knows a new river - street.  

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Disoriented

It's a disoriented feeling
Like I don't know what I want
I feel affirmative at times
that at least the direction is right
while I wonder
about those burdens that are there
but I can't see
I feel so free at times
and yet those stares
they question my peace
my inner rhymes
I wonder
what's the right way
How to make the difference
of one way from another sway
everything pulls me
everything kills 
at the end of the day
how I try to keep to myself
all my emotions
all my rays
and yet I am human
and I need humans
So I choose a particular way
without expectations
with a single say
to walk together a common journey
as far as we can share the same way
and thus I meet
a spectrum of spirits
so many colors
so many shades
some embrace my entity 
with all their glory
some try to utilize
me in their games 
and yet I keep moving
in an unknown direction
in an abstract way
and it feels so pointless at times
it feels so weird some days
when my old ways call me selfish
and my roots cry cursing my fate
and amidst it all
I feel caught
a cosmic spirit
looking for her way
all I want is so much at times
that it can't be seen in a material way

Written by - mystical Wanderer

Need to replace

Imagine a time

where even to express

you need a sham

a metaphor

a set of words

to replace

what you have inside

and that is how

life works

replacements

and replacements

I think 

The biggest fear

the prior most concern

you can't speak

what you feel

or if you do

well

beware

the repercussions are grave

some sit on your head

some kick you out

some try to convince

till the point

you loose your mind

and that is how

it keeps going

replacements 

per replacements

that is why we keep craving

replacements

per replacements

you don't like something

replace it

You should not like something 

replace it

it is as easy as

an object of plastic

Probably Life indeed

has become Chinese

or if not that

then definitely

a replacement trick.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

 

The new profile

This is a new experience for me - this going to different companies, pitching for my company. Each time I go for a new meeting, I always get curious - both about the new client plus our own doings at rest. For I am new you see, for me , both sides are new parties. And after listening to those two sides, I feel I can take out a similarity. There the mind functions to build a platform, to align two goal sets and make it a larger brand. But amidst it all - I often wonder - It can't be just communication or Business knowledge. Why it requires so much of me.
Understanding a client's psychology, getting into their shoes - understanding their ideology, thinking from their side and coming up with a strategy. It feels like you are entering a video game at an unknown level. There you have to be quick with your plans and strategies - as if it's a war and you are managing an entire force.
You have to quickly estimate the client's requirement size. You have to analyse what best you can offer from your side. And innovation is a must for every client .For now it's a world of uniqueness, a world where every entity is a brand - a unique ride. There bubbling with so many ideas, you may feel all happy for finally a platform/ a fertile womb for your potent Embryo. Well, there is difference between said and done I tell you. So they may judge you upon your uniqueness, but expectation level never rises from traditional.
Now comes the most curious time. For the norm goes in a contradictory ride. Revolutionary ideas you may provide. But the client's experimental realm is also hand tied. So the established brands have narrowed their own dimensions. They have an image to carry - to try out random exceptions. Start ups though are free that way. Yet for them risk factor comes on it's way.
What I feel is that these are not necessarily barricades. It's like you have a small house and you can't buy another house or increase it's walls or change it's location all together., Yet with whatever the resources you have, you can still redo it's interior and give it a new aura - so unique that it's small size becomes it's selling point.
So I guess that's about it. In past 10 days of this new profile, that is what I have realised. Apart from some of the most amazing corporate experiences of my life.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Entangled yet free

Uncalled hollowness amidst

glittering, sprinkling, dim lit life

I try to find myself

I just see a tiny light

shining in the upper centre of a white wall

illuminating images of rise and fall

and yet all I see

is a plain blank expression

 of possible regrets 

and imposed collaboration

of dignity and integrity

of possibility of anarchy

of constant escape from

a circle

into another circle.

I wonder at every cross-way

is this really the right way

and I consult every passer by

for the first time

or at least those who matter 

they know 

what's going in my mind

and I am flowing with the flow

only more concious

still this foggy smile

still this misty strife.

Celebration indeed

for I am at a step ahead

Is it the right direction

oh this but is

supposed to be met

blind cheers again

to disillusioned games

nets of political strings

or those cunning lovely rings.

I float

to the blues of the sea

far off from my soul

far away from my entity

and I miss you nature

the river the ether

or maybe now

you are too imbibed 

inside and around me

only now 

that I can't see

for now I am inside that sea

dark and suffocating

entangled yet free.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer 

Python twirling inside

Do you know that burning sensation inside you like a python twirling inside... You wanna escape and fly but some pull pulls you inside...and you feel stuck to the root deep into earth you collide. More you try to breath, more the dream kills you by.
So you pick up an axe. Try to cut that chord by. For the energy is too huge for you to handle right. But the power overpowers. It keeps you from moving. It makes you so high.
There aghast you lie in the centre
Of earth in air below the sky
On and on the cycle goes
You revolve in round
You are alive
You are ghost
The pull keeps pulling
You feel melted
You live the frost.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Whether to err

I have to
But I don't want to
Or maybe I do want it
But definitely
Not like this
It's something different
That I am looking for
Something unique
I can be very specific
At an abstract level
Or maybe I can give you
Facts! Whole lot of them.
If only
I had loved facts as much.
But I do.
Only the fact that
Fact again
is perception.
Here I feel knitted
In Derrida's threads.
I might not need it
And yet it curls
Around those strings
Of time
Being the inner chime.
And I hate it
As much I love.
It's complicated
Whether to err.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

The right waves

For me learning and experience
both are crucial. Along with a good lifestyle of course.
And when it comes to a person like me - there are loads of passions yet no one visible ideal shore.
Trying to find the right spot for my anchor, to rest my boat and work afore...
Nowhere I find the right waves, the ideal wind, a humble shore
I don't mind the pressure
More generous intension
More I wanna work for
Yet it all narrows down
To politics and there it goes

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Friction of moment

The growing friction
Of the moment
'Igniting the fire
Within'
The caress of dew drops
'The touch that
Defines purity'
The music of
Dancing drizzle
'Upon
The upcoming dawn'
The flowing windy shiver
'Meets the warmth
Within souls
Generating a bliss'
Clouds burst with joy
'Birds fly high
Inspiring
One and all'
From ashes
The phoenix arises
'Something drops
And curiosity rises'
Upon neon waves
Below the moon
'Everything unites
And emits
A sensation
Of infinity'
And the soul
Merges into ocean
In each wave
A dreamy spray
'Yet there is
A need
To release
The entropy,
Reach a state
That's always
One step away.'
To catch a shadow
To touch the sun
Reaching that moon
Seeing the spun
It's all the same
'I wonder
Are we
Supposed to be content
Or inflation propellers
In this cosmic game'
Nature in core
Elemental lore
Energy transmission
Each dark night
Every morning flicker
'The joy of
Existence
And the reality
Called love
Keeps it all in sync
Releases a spirit
All around'
It's the music of wisdom
The wisdom called love
To love thyself
And also the world
To love with
heart and soul.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer and '_'

Soul conversation

'Well the beauty
Of the shimmering night'
The glitter in his shiny smile
'The warmth that the nature beholds'
The joy upon glistening shores
'The horizon of the limitless sky'
The happy feeling of cosmic joy
'Who are we?
Are we really the souls'
That merge with earth and sky
Or are we oceans
'The gifts of nature
In the look
Of those eyes'
The peace in that hold
Of cliff in ice
'Magic is only natural
Provided the
right energies collide'
It's unison of elements
Inside the spirits of
Dusky sunrise
'Sometimes
birds of different feather
And flocks
Fly magnanimously
Well together'
Sometimes
The breeze whispers
The wind gathers
Behind those tinkling
Rings of earth
Beneath
'A flurry of emotions
The untouched spots
It's all so special.
I wonder
What's its origin
In the past'.
I feel
It all coexists
The origin of the point
The end it fits
'Difficult to say
Which crack
Of the Big Bang
Cascaded this effect
that'
Enhancified the
Beauty of a
Broken grandeur
Which makes the
Picture perfect
In a novel scenario
'Life, happiness, peace
And salvation
Are things
We don't assume
Exist'
But we rather
live them all
Every moment
Each emotion
One at a time
At times many
'Those bits of you
That directly talk
To my elements
Speak beautifully
Make my heart'
Happy and free
It feels complete
It feels inspired
With beauty and bliss
Life gets fire
'At each sunrise
And sunset
There are pieces of
Our universes
That we see merging
It's that kind of magic
So natural
Yet surprising'
It's the joy of the first drop
Of rain from blue sky
It's the peace of journey
Of a bird so high
It's light like a cloud
It flows like a river
Happy and joyful
Warm and shiver
Life
'Within lives
With moments
Beyond a life time'
Between the chords
Of a musical chord
Beyond all
Black and white.

- Mystical Wanderer and '_'