Right between my lobes

A golden light
Right between my lobes
Only in some distance
Like you see that eclipse
On closing your eyes
Right after staring long
Into some bright light.
And I stand
In a black jacket
Threaded in sexy zig-zag
In middle
And I wear two ponytails
Along with baze trousers
Possibly posing
Amist blue water
Amidst pillars of some
Ancient cave.
Can it be a picturesque
Of my future?
Like those visions in my childhood
I used to stare?
The water is neck deep.
I feel scared.
No. Is it my death.
Fie.
I open my eyes.
What? Am I scared?
Remember? All my difficulties
Always led me
To a better fare.
Now what was that night
In a new city
Middle of road
In my eyes were tears.
Those three girls
They had thrown me
Out of their house.
I was new there.
What a pretty room she had.
Shimmering Lights everywhere.
But her heart
That was black.
Was it to teach me a lesson?
I was a careless hare.
But see they threw me out
So charcoal smeared
Next two months were
a blessing.
It was always better from there.
It's darkness that had always
Brought life to my sphere.
I close my eyes.
To take a dip
In the large blue mass
That enters everywhere.
Maybe the shots of death.
The beautiful end.
But why am I thinking of death?
A better life from here?
Aah! Death
You so sweet.
I embrace you here.
I open my eyes
To a camouflaged night
So starry smeared.