Disoriented

It's a disoriented feeling
Like I don't know what I want
I feel affirmative at times
that at least the direction is right
while I wonder
about those burdens that are there
but I can't see
I feel so free at times
and yet those stares
they question my peace
my inner rhymes
I wonder
what's the right way
How to make the difference
of one way from another sway
everything pulls me
everything kills 
at the end of the day
how I try to keep to myself
all my emotions
all my rays
and yet I am human
and I need humans
So I choose a particular way
without expectations
with a single say
to walk together a common journey
as far as we can share the same way
and thus I meet
a spectrum of spirits
so many colors
so many shades
some embrace my entity 
with all their glory
some try to utilize
me in their games 
and yet I keep moving
in an unknown direction
in an abstract way
and it feels so pointless at times
it feels so weird some days
when my old ways call me selfish
and my roots cry cursing my fate
and amidst it all
I feel caught
a cosmic spirit
looking for her way
all I want is so much at times
that it can't be seen in a material way

Written by - mystical Wanderer