WHY AM I SCARED?

This is strange
This nervousness
Why am i scared?
And what for?
I’ll loose a job?
People may form opinion?
This may not be good?
Or i like being nervous now?
I was never such tamed.
Yet, i feel free
Just the timings and breaks.
Yet it is killing me.
This anxiety, i so despise.
This imprisonment, in one range.
No freedom, no wings
But a feeling estranged.
Is it self – built?
Or maybe I’m just new?
But, wasn’t I an extrovert?
Or, am i trying some change?
But, it feels good – being busy.
To just keep going – like in game.
No emotions wasted.
No boredom to switch game.
Its all happening
Around me – a stoic game.
Am i getting lived by?
But I am living every moment
This is strange.
But something is not right.
Something I can sense
Or maybe it’s an inner fear
Maybe, its just a new game
Taking it as a challange
Seems fit to win the game
But, am i the actual player?
Or a dummy with same name?
Aah! Social parameters
Lack of guidance
Fear of shame
But I was too careless
To care – how i was named
Am i being careful
Still not – mostly same
But a change is there
I can sense it – without any name
Yet that faith in cosmos
That takes me to different range
Each time i am done with
It switches the entire game
Living the moment seems perfect
Living the moment- My only domain.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer