Flaneur

I despised 
not you
but the worth
you brought
to those little moments of life
coz they scared me
what if 
I fall in love 
with those small moments
guess I wanted
to do something huge
or maybe
it was my alter ego
that was also
different from crew
Flaneur - both you and me
the other me
the inner me
Flaneur
is this love so free
to give a damn
to that fixed society
now that I feel
the wandering heart
the changing me
this inner me
loafing so free
I realize
the connection
a flaneur you
a flaneur me.

But I was the same 
riding in a flaneur game
Ya, not with this name
but ya I was never tame
this wild zeal
this carefree reel
I can feel
beyond my peel
the real me
the real you
Flaneur we
in this crew. 

So now that we know
each other when we go
to our own 
unknown ways
wandering around
wild strays
I wish you luck
my friend 
I know we are
but moon rays
fragmented and filtered
through clouds
in many ways
Stay happy my flaneur
Our souls are same
mine n yours.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Afterthought

But it was a moment's frown
yet, an eyebrow burnt
Should I quit
or maybe after this last one
or who knows
it becomes a tattoo
or a lesson
maybe its the thought
of sometime before
in some destructive mind
but it had its peace
in evening breeze
and a mild drizzle
with red sky
yet its an eyebrow burnt
should I call it high
But I can feel the surface
the uneasiness of it
charcoal hard roots
an anxious muse?
but why this indifference
or maybe
too much of a thought
in picking up
those fragments
in utilizing
the afterthought

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Imperfect depths

Is it intense dwelling into the extremity of emotion and attachment that results in these entirely opposite swings of detachment so much to the level that united souls become objectified memories of one dimensions. Or maybe the minds evolve. Presence in so called structures is not required anymore. There is that close a proximity that develops that even those dark beauty spots of moon suddenly seem gross dark ditches to detest and consider that beloved moon as ordinary and no more an obsession?
But isn't that imperfectness itself that makes it beautiful and what it is? Doesn't all those notions that we see as lack define those objects that we so brutally criticize, synthesize or butcher as required?
A friend said, 'Imagine how beautiful the moon will be without its spots. Just that we have nothing else to measure its partial beauty. We have no spotless Utopian moon. and that's why the only available object becomes that obsessive'. I wonder, isn't it basic human nature - to never be satisfied. To always look for some Utopian perfectness. To find at least one fault in any demise.
and probably that's what makes us move - from object to object, spots to places, emotions to expressions followed by a deep silence of chaotic layers around. The layers that rise up like waves in a stormy sea and those shores to bring those happy breezy beach evenings. The pendulum keeps tolling those waves from joy to grief, from storms to peace. But then there is that calm sea, holding in its depths those centuries - of moments of unison at different places, in different times.
I wonder, whats the end of this journey? Budha's realization to be a part of world and help others evolve from the same circle? But whats the purpose of life in that case? Only to realize the futility of it and aim to return to the same state we were in before? Cool we call it experienced or evolved state... Say after few births we learn so many things our souls were supposed to - but whats the point of it all? If the start point of the race ends at the same point?
Isn't that circle too immensely attached to our very existence? Are we not fooling ourselves in some mythical competitions, races of success and failure. Some even claim to be equal and same - at the realm of so many categories of species, bodies .. even souls... or how about ' energies'.
To a large part, I will agree with this definition that we are all energies - deeply influenced with laws of gravity, playing upon some universal strategies - but aren't all these definitions mere convincing tacts or toys given to that immature mind of ours which needs atleast some basic definition to register things and life around.
Not that I am that keen on leaving my life or the pleasures in it just to know the reason of it.... as I feel its disrespecting the fact that I am alive. I would rather live it to the fullest to realize why I was alive. and yet, the questions are eternal webbed in that beautifully crafted web of language so inadequate to express what is felt.
Which makes me wonder how I criticize Language same like someone criticizes moon with its own set of imperfections. Guess, that's how we are built. To always keep traveling closer and deeper to our obsessions only to love them so much that you begin to detest that love. and yet, evolve with that deep feeling of understanding which is beyond all feelings of love hate or expressions pending.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Destination ... Unknown

So its again changing... The game of life...who knows its returning to the same pages..or is at the verge of revive...
Its a happy spirit that I am in... Everything so beautiful...everything so perfect...
The next steps are unknown...destination is unknown..except maybe that it has to end in success... But isn't success subjective as well.. Some are happy with appearances...some look for content in every shelf...
Who knows what future has in store...
Imagine this moment where I am sitting at some roadside on a large concrete roll right beside my familiar dome...
And I know its just this night that has possibility of relaxation... Day after I will fly to some other domain... Some other roads..
Had I followed some long term plan then situation had been different... But I guess I am not a long term planner... It makes me scared... So fickle and lusty is my heart...
I always get Araid of any thought permanence... What if I don't want it any more... True there is always a possibility to make changes... But its my words that I always feel like keeping intact...anything but breaking a promise.. Anything but to break a heart...
And I hurt so many... I leave so many starts... Just with this thought inside - what if it becomes my duty to keep it till end - or what if it becomes forever apart... Maybe it's attachments that annoy me... Or its the same that pulls me apart... who knows what I want... Who decided these random starts...
And yet it's always thrilling... Different beginnings... Different starts... New zeal... New excitement... New learning from the previous start...
Ready for the next step... Or who cares its all a part - of the large series of journeys I so enjoy - clubbing into my beautiful destiny .. despite of being world apart.

Beloved called Desire

Its a strange world that runs behind money... Where relations are kept aside for lust n money.. Where man is so dependent on his desires that feelings and emotions are long forgotten. It is this material world that I am expected to survive in. It is this politics that I am supposed to handle.
Yeah, I'm a brave girl. My mom has made me thus strong that I can face any situation... Or maybe growing up taught me all this. But isn't it inhuman and so unfair - like I don't want to be a part of all this at all and yet I am pulled into it.
Maybe it's all in my mind - this unbalance. Maybe it's just a phase, just a day where rather than my usual peaceful content mental state I am complaining/ I am angry. I am upset.
But I just can't understand the reason of it all... The biased society.. The politics in it... The money mindedness of it.   The lust of it.
They tell me to not be this open. To do whatever yet hide it in social platform. My question - Why? If it is OK to do it while I hide it.
Why should I fake it? Why should I hide things that everyone does yet can't accept or digest it openly?
In an instant you realize what all people hide inside... People who admire you... People who call you their own... One open statement and all that goody admiration flies away.
Its disgusting - this version of society. I can't fake it. I can't be all goody at all times. I can't pretend to be someone I am not.

Pulls n pushes

Its a strange mindset - right now... every time I return to society thinking that this time I will participate with a fresh mind n heart... Or maybe this time I will simply spectate with no judgement in heart... N yet there is something that pulls me out of it all... And I feel suffocated in people, routine, material...there I crave for my freedom, nature, travel...
I love my family too much - want to live with them... They deserve me the most in the world... They love me the most in the world... N vice verse...
And yet... this anxiety... This thought if being engaged with everyday things...
I feel like befriending many people at times... After all I am a human and I need people... N yet... I just can't identify... I may gel with anyone and everyone... But my soul seeks solitariness n nature everywhere..
Momcy says... Humans are nature too... why don't you love nature in that form...
But humans have other elements too - where they judge... They cheat... They talk nonsense... they have wrong intentions...
Nature on the other hand is pure - powerful... Is untouched from all those trivialities and atrocities...
Two nights before I felt like a cross in a large large universe...as if  had roots in all four directions and the centre was heart - thumping at some crazy speed .. The energy was immense... And the sound and silence were replacing each other as if in a musical combat...only thing that stopped me from loosing my self fully into it was attachments... N yet... I got so shit scared with the energy that I felt...
I don't know... what to do... Where to go next... My degrees question my social existence... And yet..m its these social parameters I have issues with.   I don't wanna belong to that category of parasites...
I don't wanna be bounded..m don't want to get indulged in politics.
I am an artist... And I have so many arts... All I want in my life is this freedom of mine that I am so proud of . All I want to do it to be creative and travel.
And yet... Things are not that simple. rather things are made complicated by everyone around... Like its not just be honest ...do your work 100%... Gve your best... Have good intentions and nothing can harm you...  Its rather about people that play politics... That forcefully drag you into situations...and if you ignore it for your own peace of mind... then you support something that is so wrong on humanitarian grounds...
I wish I was free to remain just a simple human if that's how we define it... Not that I am scared of situations or people... No... But I consider my time way too precious to spend in such trivial things...
Like why will I fucking keep serving a company who supports flatterers and motivate politics... where the head himself participates in exploiting employees..
Why will I become a part of same group of lecturers for whom teaching is not holy but a business where it is OK to grant marks if girls satisfy their lust...
Why will I be friends with people whom I loved from the bottom of my heart but everyone judged me wrongly without considering the love and purity I had for each of them...
And still these are not complaints... They are they... Its upto them... How they want their life to be... An HR who knows she has no knowledge or skill to handle a firm but flattery and politics as her tools will obviously use them especially when it's a firm built on the foundations of exploitation n politics..
But I don't want to belong to such a society. I feel hurt when I see the level to which people around me have been forced to fall down to.
I simply can't identify with any of them. For me Money, material, position, reputation are a much latter cry...
I stay true to my concise... I only listen to my heart. And my head suffers when people around me try to pull me to their level looking at me with sympathy as if I am loosing a huge opportunity every time I say no to so called successes and benefits.
I don't know why but I feel content in my heart ... As if I am meant for something higher... Something where my soul won't require to compromise. And then it all seems like a dreamland...
And yet... I so believe in my dreams... All my dreams have come true... This one too will be true some day...
Guess... Patience is the word for now.

Delhi - mah love

Its mah city 
Where at times I am
In deep perplexity
Where it seems
Everything is just this city
N yet at times there is
That strange content
Which is nowhere else
In no other city of rent

And then there is
A flavor of history
That always touches me
In strange mystery
It connects to that inner soul
Which craves to transcend 
In ancient hole

And yet the spirit
Its counter part
Which loves nature so much
Which is scared of any stall
Which wants to wander forever
Which seeks cosmic shower

Its always like this
One heart v/s another heart
But don't I have just 
a single heart for start
Or maybe there are many more
Like that sea with 
Numerous shores

Aah!! The decision
One thing I am real bad at is 
Judgement
Coz for me
Its all the same
Wrong and right
Respect n shame
For me its the same
What seems to be
At point of origin
Wt seems to end
And yet this city
Is difficult to comprehend
Delhi - mah love
Is with all that I can end.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Rhythm of emotions

Flowing with the flow
Nature's show
Rhythm of emotions
Many creations
No inhibitions
Subtle variations
Roll one
Give me a sip
The nectar is ready
And I am about to trip

Deep in the river I flow
Deep in the shadows
Images grow
Some thoughts
Some imaginations
Cosmic vibrations
Mystic nation
Here we sing
Songs of heart
Here it goes
Musical dart

The wings of wind
Whisper in ear
Songs of freedom
Whooshing fear
Those gallops of centuries
Merged in sunrise
That flute of dawn
The crimson sky

Eagle's flapping
River's gashing
transfer of energy
Nature's melody
Bamboos sing as well
Mildly beside a well
Keep rolling keep tripping
Oh!! The sun is setting.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer & Serenader

Today I have put down my papers

Today I have put down my papers

It feels strange

It feels free

Suddenly finding myself

In abstract again

Like that phase

In some mysterious book

Where one chapter is over

And the next is yet to come

As if the coin was tossed

And now its revolving

And you feel that spin

Standing at its edge

Revolving with some energy

Unknown yet with some strategy

Maybe it’s too hurried a decision

But I know it’s significant

It would not have happened

Had it been not required

It’s something huge awaited

Something else to be acquired

Perhaps its just my concise

Giving me reasons so convincing

But one thing is for sure

All this is for some immense thing

Some real huge change

Like always

Some entirely new game

I guess the saturation point was met

Or maybe it’s the way I am

But I am sure

 I have much more potential

And I belong to some work

Much more refined

Where I won’t be a mere vessel

But the content in it

So designed

Where all my productive juices

Will meet some flavors of their kind

Where some rule- obsessed people won’t dominate

Where people will actually use their mind

Where work will be respected for its worth

And won’t be treated with a casual blind

Where people would prefer hard work

More than flattery of various kinds

Written by  - Mystical Wanderer 

Many lives - up street

Many lives up street

Animal like it seems

The instincts

The themes

Its comedy of errors

Smoky pipes

Frizzy spurs

Time is the focus

That one point

The inner theme

The call of moment

Revolutionary cream

The friction of sensations

Annoying forecasts

Unknown pasts

The crash of emotions

Hilly sides sunny streams

Measuring one’s soul

Monk’s vision

Essential need

Smoke of realizations

Misty pictures

Coiled sheets

The gyres of wisdom

Ancient stanzas

Repeated deans

The sheep like moment

Drinking blasts

Merging weeds

Hunger of emotions

Dry eyes

Thirsty scene

The need of the moment

Humor behind

Satire on peak

The numb caricature

The dreamy streams

Misty fascinations

Many lives up street.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

whatever you wish for

Passions can be many
I choose the rawest ones
those that talks with senses
please my heart
with me get one
I love transcendence
metamorphoses with every sense
Those that talk with my soul
Those that take me to their darkest holes


Its great to be doomed in all times
all you need to know is forget time
to get wasted with every passion of yours
to give yourself fully to that inner call

only then you live the moment to its inner core

its mesmerizing - every scar tuning sour.

And then there are the post moments
those empty spaces before next lines
that one abstract sound one hears
while turning a page in silent ground
but the mind is full of noise
the things read,the curious cries
that one second of sounds too
are beautiful, are true.

It all depends upon
how passionate you are
how much you want to compromise
with useless social calls
its more of your will
to feel the best
to live it all
to even rest
rest while you run
on that sandy ground
to make it your choice
to wrap it around
once you let it take the best of you
your passion becomes you
and it turns alive
every passion in life
it lives it even eats
your every sacrifice
becomes a treat
there you know
in the back of your mind
that this is worth it
your passion your time
and you feel the content involved
that hidden excitement
become all time stall
and there you live in every moment of yours
you and your passion
whatever you wish for.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

No Emoticons

Flowing with the rhythm of moment

this second this very dent

partially crushed its beautiful to be numb

to go slow and clueless

at least for one moment

and imagine the peace I gain

stoic expression hint of pain

and the eyes glow with fire

like those blazing pyres

anger for the world peeps in

irritating people are also seen

but then its good to be numb

you are simply unaffected

of praises of puns

of comments and satires

of masked attires

coz you are numb 

you are numb for the moment

it gives peace

this kinda numbness

you reach a level beyond 

this world and its strings

you are helpless and clueless

and thats the fucking bent

you leave all desires

all expectations also get bent

no ego no ceremony

no wishes left

neither fights

and you are numb

for the moment

with no expectations 

none to come

you and this moment

no moon no sun

and a long beep with straight line

beating stops 

no dark no shine

but that numbness where nothing is left

no more desires nothing to expect

no emotions, no expressions

no love, no hate, no emoticons

this, this moment

the moment called numb

I turn into this moment

I become numb.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer 

dheemi dheemi si baarish

dheemi dheemi si baarish
ankhon mein band si khwaihish
dekhun mai tujh ko to
sach sapna sa lage

sanson mein badti ahein
bahon mein teri bahein
dekhun main tujh ko to
sach sapna sa lage

dekhun main tujhe yunhi
jalti shaam mei khoi

na nna na

dheemi dheemi si
sanson mein ghulti chahat
bheeni bheeni si
rimjhim si pehli baarish
dheemi dheemi si...
dheemi dheemi si
sardi ki pehli chadar
bheena bheena sa
sama hai ye haseen.
tum bhi to yahin
jaise sapna hi
bheena bheena sa
sapna ye mera
bheena sa bheena sa
sapna ye haseen

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

The Pulse

Tender moist touch of royal purple silk
that vibration till miles in hills
'vibrations till miles away
over and above the hills
hills beyond thrills'

that giggle presses under ivory
upon craving smiles
snakes like root
dangling around
that misty shady moon
so smokey
so blue

'glittery eyes with sparkling glitter'
watery caress of wings on flutter
the shades of night
shadows of mornings
first dawn after rain
first love in morning
each time
new rhyme
each rhyme
'new crime
the bells chime
we don't care
about time
you are mine
I will give you
all of mine'

I am yours
so is my mind
those complexities no more
its just
a beautiful moony ride
the highs and lows
so beautiful 
so divine
the joy of sensations
mysterious crimes
the giggles of situations
undiscovered rhymes

'whether it is nine or ten
we have no odds and even
thats where we find heaven'
from cloud nine
to eleven

I want you to waste me
to have me all
in one go
to kiss every ounce of my skin
to make me all tremble
to rip me apart
the soul from start
to break me to pieces
a clay in your hand
but then 
don't shape me
forget your hand
you clay
me clay
the clayey land
where we are free
of shapes of stand
one rhyme one time
the moment of one scent
where sweats unite
and love reminds
no now 
no then
but that one flowing emotion
from root to stem.

the vibe travels long
from neck till hand
the entire cell universe
gets hanged to bend
to every pulse from that hand
that one touch
with pressure not much
but love immense
'love intense'.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer & Mystical Man

In soft murmurs

Delicacies of life

Gently whisper near your eyes

Behind ears

In soft murmurs

In a warm breath of surprise

Tender pleasures

Stealing smiles

Realm of concise

Goes so blind

Its all in the moment

The whisper of life

And yet that one breath

Struck between eyes

No breath in

No breath out

Struck between life

That one whisper

Stays forever

Till the time you are alive

Dried in some page of a book

Kept in a corner

To store surprise

On a blue and silver

Full moon night

Or may be pitch dark

The darkness of sight

There in those true moments of life

Beyond all joys and strife

There they tinkle

The tiny footsteps

Netted white

Vintage bright

Like a cusp of emotions

Black and white

The ying – yang glory

Of feets tapping by

They tread on air

Slowly towards me

Into my ears

Into my eyes

Bitter at times

At times nice

They dance at those rhymes

Of ancient times

The hills and the tower

Millions of night

The poison in cave

Temptation inside

To kiss it with lips

The silver pride

moon in the bowl

moon inside

starslight in fingers

star like the might

and there it treads

temptation inside

there towards that neck

a whisper so polite

to steal it forever

that moment that night

stored in those layers

so bloody in sight

but the blood is dried

so dried with time

and yet it flows

in that inner rhyme

in greens on heights

in starry sights

on shelfs of windows

caressing nights

then when I cried

Then when I was satisfied

Then when I had those arms

Around and beside

When eyes were locked

Love side by side

And yet it carries on

This moment this night

But the moment is stored still.

Somewhere in my mind.

That one breath.

That moment

That starry

Smokey night.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Social Thong

‘I want another Life.

I want one more start.

I was never given a chance.

I want – Just one more chance.’

You know I made many beginnings

Have given my life Many starts

And every time I feel

There is once more need

Of yet another start

Of yet another chance

‘But dear, I have never got a chance

I have never lived for myself

Have never banged it on’

‘’Give me some sunshine

Give me some rain

Give me another chance

I wanna grow up once again’’

Have you heard the lyrics

The energy of song

Aah!! the spirit inside

Aah! the moments gone

So much of potential

So many hopes

So much of wisdom

So many dreams

And yet, its killed

The social thong

Those stupid adulations

The social song

This is right

And this is wrong

This is how its done

This is absolutely wrong.

Centuries of sheeps

The same fucking breed

Follow this

Obey that

The same national song

Time changes

So do conditions

To live is to evolve

With time – goes the song

And then something new come

Another vision

Another song

And still people sing the same fucking old song

And the new gets killed

Inside the womb

Those hopes

Those wishes

Lie below

A social thong.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Masked Sights

Confused mind it seems. There are so many things I want to do. So many struggles I wanna take. So many experiences I want to attain. Maybe it will take my whole life – experimenting and exploring. Maybe Momcy is right – Life is too short. But I also feel the other way .At times I wonder at the range of my experience in this short span of past few years. But then comes – Time factor .And I get this strange fear at times -  what if I spend my entire life – hoping for some height – that is yet to come . What if Godot never comes. But then I feel, how does it matter? How does it matter – how much I earn, whether I get fame or not, How many materials I attain, what profession I take? People do all this for happiness .and my happiness is so connected and dependent upon my freedom.

But then enters that secret feeling. The fun in breaking rules! The real pleasure of freedom comes only when you have experienced being bound. And I wonder – how does it matter if I have to hide a certain things. Till the time my closed ones are happy. And yet, it varies – the people I feel close to, The people with whom I feel free. Maybe Momcy is right – its all in the mind. Till the time you are free from inside, you are free outside. But then I feel suffocated – expectations, desires, obligations, burdens. And yet, there is that love that caring bound that is nowhere else , in no other bond.

And yet, I hate expectation, those expectations and boundations. I would love to be anywhere where I can be me. Anything fake – so fucking kills me. And then there are foxes and vixens in society. And equally annoying are sheeps and donkeys trying to shun your mind. But then you have your own pace, your own definition of mind. You understand those shades of grey. You know there is nothing like black and white.     And yet, you wanna do justice to each of your mood – to each of your inner rhyme.             You wanna feel it all – to feel it – the meaning of life.

To survive is not your struggle. It happens on its own 0- this struggle to survive. The real aim lives in living . to listen to all your inner rhymes. You fee llike a kid at times. You suddenly feel grown up when one sun shines. And it all goes in cycles – happiness and pains – sunny mornings and rainy night.

And so go the companionships – those different rhymes. Those that come so close, That suddenly are left – far behind. You miss some people . With some, you lose track of time. With some you crave to be there. Some addict your mind. Maybe Momcy was right – its all short lived – this world of shine .Happiness lives outside – in helping others – you may find. But then comes that self – after helping them all, you also have a mind. You think of your self – your inner plights. You look at others – stepping on those oozing sigh6ts.

But then you want to be happy – to survive it all – to live your life. But more you smile and laugh. More it becomes hideous for world’s eye. They wear colored glasses, some unknown parameters of sight. They adore you, they comment on you, they obey you, they get disgusted with your might. You sit all innocent – spectating the sight. Maybe Momcy was right – to decide and stay in social limits – is always right. But then I wonder – what about those craving inside. The fact that I can do it, The craving to go aside, Top explore a new dimension, to cross one more fence beside, To dive deep into the river and explore it all inside. To ride those waves and climb those peaks, to feel it all – seems right. And I feel dome with humans , those complications and masked sights.

 Written by - Mystical Wanderer

And yet I keep melting

Tiny droplets merge
and disperse
they whisper into ears
they yell they are shy
they flow with the flow
they freeze in snow
to some gone distant time
to some ancient rhyme
maybe this is how
Life goes
maybe this is how
we grow

symphony of moments
 Epiphany of scents
different shades
different sensations
aah! but the one
that one craving
something unfulfilled
something I still need
and yet this contentment
contentment to make me freeze
n yet I keep melting
deep inside - some inner creed
Maybe this is how 
life goes
Maybe this is how 
We grow

But you seem already grown
you and you and you too
but I too am grown
for you and you and you too
Deep inside we are all newborns
I tell you we need to grow
but the masks are beautiful too
they give us illusions many
what I am to you
what you are to me
what anyone is to anyone
this strange symphony
Maybe this is how 
Life goes
Maybe this is how
We grow

But in between all this
Take a moment
to see the picturesque
of moments so many
those gone
those still around
those that are yet to come
those under moons and sun
People change 
moments too
but this cosmic river
it keeps flowing too
Take a look
at that one drop
hold it 
that crystal drop
Maybe this is how
Life goes
Maybe this is how
We grow
in that one moment of emotion
when there is none
but that moment on go. 

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

A bit lonely too

It's a lonely feeling
funny too
this feeling alone in crowd
with friends so many too
or actually no
friends have reduced now
hardly few
seperate from crew
rest has become a crowd
with nothing in leu
yet, its a state of mind
morning I felt loving too
when the head said something
in low voice
in some meeting too
There I felt
all are good
all are my own too
n yet its all about the moment
same me can feel
lonely too
yeah!!! many people to meet
many to talk and gel too
n yet that one craving
something unknown
without body too
I sing some song
some melody in tune
I tap and dance
and think whats new
and there I land
with a list of newness
recycled since centuries
in mine too
n yet its different 
or may be I am too
one in this crew
But yet it is different
to feel at times 
a bit lonely too.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer