Masked Sights

Confused mind it seems. There are so many things I want to do. So many struggles I wanna take. So many experiences I want to attain. Maybe it will take my whole life – experimenting and exploring. Maybe Momcy is right – Life is too short. But I also feel the other way .At times I wonder at the range of my experience in this short span of past few years. But then comes – Time factor .And I get this strange fear at times -  what if I spend my entire life – hoping for some height – that is yet to come . What if Godot never comes. But then I feel, how does it matter? How does it matter – how much I earn, whether I get fame or not, How many materials I attain, what profession I take? People do all this for happiness .and my happiness is so connected and dependent upon my freedom.

But then enters that secret feeling. The fun in breaking rules! The real pleasure of freedom comes only when you have experienced being bound. And I wonder – how does it matter if I have to hide a certain things. Till the time my closed ones are happy. And yet, it varies – the people I feel close to, The people with whom I feel free. Maybe Momcy is right – its all in the mind. Till the time you are free from inside, you are free outside. But then I feel suffocated – expectations, desires, obligations, burdens. And yet, there is that love that caring bound that is nowhere else , in no other bond.

And yet, I hate expectation, those expectations and boundations. I would love to be anywhere where I can be me. Anything fake – so fucking kills me. And then there are foxes and vixens in society. And equally annoying are sheeps and donkeys trying to shun your mind. But then you have your own pace, your own definition of mind. You understand those shades of grey. You know there is nothing like black and white.     And yet, you wanna do justice to each of your mood – to each of your inner rhyme.             You wanna feel it all – to feel it – the meaning of life.

To survive is not your struggle. It happens on its own 0- this struggle to survive. The real aim lives in living . to listen to all your inner rhymes. You fee llike a kid at times. You suddenly feel grown up when one sun shines. And it all goes in cycles – happiness and pains – sunny mornings and rainy night.

And so go the companionships – those different rhymes. Those that come so close, That suddenly are left – far behind. You miss some people . With some, you lose track of time. With some you crave to be there. Some addict your mind. Maybe Momcy was right – its all short lived – this world of shine .Happiness lives outside – in helping others – you may find. But then comes that self – after helping them all, you also have a mind. You think of your self – your inner plights. You look at others – stepping on those oozing sigh6ts.

But then you want to be happy – to survive it all – to live your life. But more you smile and laugh. More it becomes hideous for world’s eye. They wear colored glasses, some unknown parameters of sight. They adore you, they comment on you, they obey you, they get disgusted with your might. You sit all innocent – spectating the sight. Maybe Momcy was right – to decide and stay in social limits – is always right. But then I wonder – what about those craving inside. The fact that I can do it, The craving to go aside, Top explore a new dimension, to cross one more fence beside, To dive deep into the river and explore it all inside. To ride those waves and climb those peaks, to feel it all – seems right. And I feel dome with humans , those complications and masked sights.

 Written by - Mystical Wanderer