Is it intense dwelling into the extremity of emotion and attachment that results in these entirely opposite swings of detachment so much to the level that united souls become objectified memories of one dimensions. Or maybe the minds evolve. Presence in so called structures is not required anymore. There is that close a proximity that develops that even those dark beauty spots of moon suddenly seem gross dark ditches to detest and consider that beloved moon as ordinary and no more an obsession?
But isn't that imperfectness itself that makes it beautiful and what it is? Doesn't all those notions that we see as lack define those objects that we so brutally criticize, synthesize or butcher as required?
A friend said, 'Imagine how beautiful the moon will be without its spots. Just that we have nothing else to measure its partial beauty. We have no spotless Utopian moon. and that's why the only available object becomes that obsessive'. I wonder, isn't it basic human nature - to never be satisfied. To always look for some Utopian perfectness. To find at least one fault in any demise.
and probably that's what makes us move - from object to object, spots to places, emotions to expressions followed by a deep silence of chaotic layers around. The layers that rise up like waves in a stormy sea and those shores to bring those happy breezy beach evenings. The pendulum keeps tolling those waves from joy to grief, from storms to peace. But then there is that calm sea, holding in its depths those centuries - of moments of unison at different places, in different times.
I wonder, whats the end of this journey? Budha's realization to be a part of world and help others evolve from the same circle? But whats the purpose of life in that case? Only to realize the futility of it and aim to return to the same state we were in before? Cool we call it experienced or evolved state... Say after few births we learn so many things our souls were supposed to - but whats the point of it all? If the start point of the race ends at the same point?
Isn't that circle too immensely attached to our very existence? Are we not fooling ourselves in some mythical competitions, races of success and failure. Some even claim to be equal and same - at the realm of so many categories of species, bodies .. even souls... or how about ' energies'.
To a large part, I will agree with this definition that we are all energies - deeply influenced with laws of gravity, playing upon some universal strategies - but aren't all these definitions mere convincing tacts or toys given to that immature mind of ours which needs atleast some basic definition to register things and life around.
Not that I am that keen on leaving my life or the pleasures in it just to know the reason of it.... as I feel its disrespecting the fact that I am alive. I would rather live it to the fullest to realize why I was alive. and yet, the questions are eternal webbed in that beautifully crafted web of language so inadequate to express what is felt.
Which makes me wonder how I criticize Language same like someone criticizes moon with its own set of imperfections. Guess, that's how we are built. To always keep traveling closer and deeper to our obsessions only to love them so much that you begin to detest that love. and yet, evolve with that deep feeling of understanding which is beyond all feelings of love hate or expressions pending.
