Yet the journey

Journey
People meet in between
Sometimes
One gets attached
The vibes
They touch the soul.
Sometimes.

The separation
Is fixed.
And it is
painful.
Sometimes.

The soul s strong.
The journey goes on.
But the imprints remain.
Maybe invisible
Like the sandy shore
Beside a gigantic sea.
Yet each granule
Sometimes
Gather
In an abandoned cottage
Standing, speaking
Of the time
Gone by.
Time stays still there
In those walls
Corroded by time
Still standing strong
In it's own story.
Yet the journey
It continues.
Only sometimes
Some vibes
They touch the soul.

So Hi Bangalore

It's strange
How a place
Changes it's significance
Along with the people
With whom you once shared it.
Back here in Bangalore
There is a picturesque
Of people running in my mind.
How strange.
None is here
With the same connection
Anymore.
Time changed
So did people
And situations.
Will my hawks come by
And fly over me
The same way?
Will I go to the old boulevards
Along with my besti
And feel the same?
Is it possible?
There were people
Who claimed to love me
Beyond all measures
Once.
And they probably did.
But no more.
It now seems
Some other shore.
And in these waves
Of emotions
I go further aback.
I remember the time
Much before that.
When a happy experimental I
Landed in this city.
No friends, no people.
It was still
The love for the city.
And that is what I can connect to
My own entity.
So Hi Bangalore
With all my heart.
Am ready
For yet another start.
Love.

To Bangalore with love

Back in this city
Opportunities!
Feel good factor
Good vibes.
I feel beautiful.
Like I can achieve
Anything I want.
Anything I desire.
The endless green trees outside
A bright sun
After a long time.
I feel warm.
Relaxed.
Me.
Happy and free.
Hello dear Bangalore.
What is it
that you gonna teach me
This time.
Each union with you
Gives me something new.
I wanna dive in deep
In you.

In the flight

First step sorted.
Relaxed now.
Guess expectations would be
Too selfish.
Already it's insane.
Like way too much luck.
Good one.
The bright side.
After each rough ride.
The will and surprise.
Cosmos!

In the flight.

With moon outside.

It's a hollow feeling. 

Yet so so sorted.

Like I know the next step

After a long time.

And even the broad next 

Milestones.

And this in it self

Is a state achieved.

Aah! What a feeling.

And I am yet

To take a flight.

Travelling again

Travelling again
Packing, deadlines.
Shit, I feel so responsible.
Again.
This time I made it difficult
Or it is supposed to be
Flights. Time.
People resting on my words.
This time
It feels even better.
These five minutes
The little halt
Just before a journey.
In my own city.
Tommorow will be
Somewhere else.
Or rather today.
If it will be.
Happy.
Excited.
Bit tensed.
I don't know why.
In evening
I wanted to cry.
Now it feels good.
Or maybe I will be
Relieved.
Once I will reach.
I feel responsible.
Cheers to travel.
Again.

Time - it takes a toll

Time
It always takes a toll
Like you plan one thing
Another moment happens
Something different
All together.
Something beyond
imagination.
So different that it
Almost feels
Impossible.
So not to plan?
Is it?
Well! Plans are good.
You anyhow have
No escape from it.
It happens unconsciously
So subtle
Inside mind.
And the broad destinations
Become mere directions.
The charm lies
In flowing with flow.
To still go.
Despite of obstructions.
To just have this will inside.
The dream.
The dedication.
And let time unfold
It's desire.
Wait till you let time
Take a toll.
And enjoy the ride
The ups and downs.
It plays with you
I tell you.
Like there is a cake
in front of you
And suddenly it will vanish.
And when you feel
You gonna be dead
Comes the oxygen supply.
Wait till you let time
Take it's toll.
It's a wonder ride.
The climb and fall.
Flow with the flow
And reach
Where you are
Supposed to reach.
Time
It always takes a toll.

To travel

To travel
Is all I want.
Career is one big obstruction.
So are degrees.
I wish to merge it all
My passions and talents.
Along with patience.
But the people
The immediate ones.
They stay concerned.
And then the world.
Everything so sold to money.
You are judged
Evaluated, branded.
Not that it matters.
But it effects.
In all matters.
Respect, dignity, peace.
How everything is webbed
In the thing called society.
Are they not part of the same
System.
I want peace.
The same I get
On mountains
Or beside sea.
Staring into eternity
Of sky or water.
Being one with elements.
But how do I reach there.
Dependency.
I hate it.
Getting a job
Not that big a deal.
But wasting my time
Day and night
In petty issues.
That is my issue.
I believe my ways.
I have faith in cosmos.
I know my journey
Is taking me
Where I am destined to be.
But the career becomes
an obstruction.
So do degrees.
To travel
Is all I want.
But I have faith
Guess that's what matters.

Delhi to Manali

Can't believe... I am in a bus. Like travelling again. I had been crying and craving for it - so much that I got comfortable in that pain.
Now this is what I love about my life - the spontaneous when it happens. This is real calling. Like this spontaneous. It has zero planning involved. No efforts as well. It is just happening.
Here I am sitting in a local bus at fucking 1 AM because I suddenly felt like it. Would you believe it? And my family for the first time happily agreed though with those hidden tears of being far from me. And friends came to drop me till the bus depot. And I have a seat all to myself. No struggle at all. I don't even know what am carrying for I couldn't think of my clothes properly.
I somehow feel that I have taken everything that I may need. It will snow within a day or two over there. I am sure about it. So so excited.
For now I have planned to go to Old Manali for it is 25th December now and I would love to sip my wine amidst Himalayas in a cool cafe in Old Manali.
Maybe I will go to Bir from there. New year can be in Kasol. I don't know. I have kept it open. Rather not even in a direct bus. I will keep it open and reach wherever my intuition will take me.
I feel like jumping right now. So happy I am. Now it would have been all the more better to share this happiness with someone - I wanted it to be with someone after so many solo trips. But it was so sudden - the urge to go that I couldn't think of people.
And solo is obviously my love. I have my own company and I so love it.
This year has been bit stagnant in the middle but I have evolved into a lot more creative person now.
The year though had begun in Pondicherry with the most mesmerising sunrise of my life. It deserves a perfect ending. Maybe the most ecstatic sunset.
My birthdays once journeyed from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and New year mornings will now reach from Pondicherry to Himachal.
It is in Himachal that I had fallen in love with travel. Ever since I was a kid. It means a lot to me.
Last I was there was in May and June. It will be fucking cold now.
I am so looking forward to it.
Though my plan was to go to Goa and chill wearing my favourite 'kati fati dresses' but this is how life is always right - a surprise.
You never know what's at the next turn. Let's see where I will ride.
Excited. Dreamy. Happy.
~Mystical Wanderer
.....................
Coffee and a smoke - at a local dhaba - middle of nowhere - while on a trip... Nothing like that isn't it? Well, just had one such moment. The moon is missing. Am all on my own. Feeling beautiful and classy.
Had left my home after a warm shower with my favourite wash. I realised it will be long now to have that feel again.
So feeling all fresh and free in this solo trip - my journey.
A dog just became my friend - he barked upon a bitch feeling all possessive about me. He came and caressed my hand and foot gently asking for his pat.
I was crazy about dogs once. And they were all my friends - no matter which part of earth - whichever Street.
Somehow I had lost that interest in my life. Here I am again close to a huge set of souls once again.
I felt loved, secure. As if he gave me good luck and confidence of Mystical Wanderer. The bus is moving towards Chandigarh. We had stopped at Ambala. These are all but checkpoints. But the journey matters right - every single part of it.
So here I am sitting in a dark bus with a movie of night world on either sides. Tonight it is not static on my terrace. Instead it is racing with a raging sound taking my soul gently to it's home.
..............

It's raining along with lightening. In Chandigarh. This time the seat is in front. Along with the driver and people. The cockpit.
The lightening is insane. Morning 6AM. Still pitch dark only illuminated by the sparks in sky.
I should sleep. It's been two days. But I don't wanna waste even a single moment. Wanna absorb it all in.
This feeling free.
The background music in the bus though is Punjabi and I am not a fan of it. But it is all alive and it's still my journey. And I value it for it is special.
The silver criss crosses are boosting me up with power. They transcend me to some other time - another journey - in a train. I was returning back from Bangalore.
This is now though. And it has a strange vibe about itself. The reason though is unknown to me. I don't even know the source. But it's a gift from cosmos - this trip - this travel for my core.
...............

Roopnagar.. It is always a bliss to be here... Adorned by blue hills all around, it has a blue river flowing in it's heart. The name just complements the enchanting vibes of the place.
It's morning. Post rain earth fuming with aroma of a wet mud mixes with the aroma of tea's vapours in my palms.
I feel lucky. Christmas morning. And I am on a journey. A beautiful one.
..................

In Mandi... Will have sugarcane juice now. It's 3 of afternoon. Christmas has no visibility over here. I wanted to reach in morning. it will be difficult to figure out a place in evening.
But this trip means alot to me. I am living each moment of it. This - sitting at an unknown road. Looking straight into sun on a chilly day.
Had I got a Volvo bus I would have reached by now. Atleast from Chandigarh I should have got something. But that's fine. It's a spontaneous thing and it is in spontaneity that it's beauty lies.
Now I could have got down at Bhuntar and moved on to Kasol but that I can do later. Christmas has to be in Manali.
Maybe tommorow or day after I will go to Prini. Or let's keep it open ended.
What if I meet Gonzalo in Manali. It would be a dream come true. Who knows it all has a reason. I k ow I will meet that kid atleast once more in my life. Maybe it was all my trip. Maybe he was cosmic. Whatever it is, I must meet him again. Whenever the time is right. I no more seek him or go to find him. Long done with that. But I do wish to meet him everytime come over here.
The bus is finally almost empty. I didn't change my seat that I badly wanted to.
I feel alright here. Plus it is empty again the seat beside me. Initially it was some uncle with whom it wasn't comfortable to sit. Morning brought a girl with whom I finally established some connection. By that time she had to leave. I had judged her initially but later felt her aura to be lovely.
I have to open again. I have become way too reserved with time. Also I have to keep my presumptions and judgements in check.
One reason can be that I have not slept for two nights and it will be my third night to finally sleep tonight. The short power nap in morning though worked it's wonder.
The bus moves again. Next halt would hopefully be Manali.
Here a man beside me again. No I seriously don't get it. I mean half the bus is empty. Why does he have to come and sit beside me. But he will. Judgements check.
Alright. So to be on the brighter side, it's Christmas and my gift is this travel. Few hours more and I will be in a dream world.
Now I know some places in Old Manali where I can easily get an affordable room but I don't wanna stay at the same place again. The experience has to be different right.
Let's see. How it turns out to be.
...............

Reached!
............

I have got a nice room for myself. It's cosy because of it's people. Don't even remember it's name now. It took me one hour of walk along with my luggage to finally get a room. And guess what they even have colors to fill my empty sheets.

Right now in a chilled out cafe. It's Christmas. I miss my family in glimpses though. There are lot of people - they are all in group. I don't know what to do sitting in this cafe alone. Ha ha. It's been months that I have solo travelled. But it is Christmas and I will make it special.
I still can't believe I am here. Sitting in Himachal. Just what I wanted to do. I went to Drifter's first. It is always kind of over packed. But there was some live music happening. But this place know, it kind of has much better vibes. Also about the availability of place. But it is about ...

Woah! Had some kick ass conversation. The person managing it is so nice. He introduced me to the other two. We conversed for good 3 hours. It was amazing. Now it feels like Christmas. Or maybe now I feel like Mystical Wanderer.
The colorful lights, the crazy conversation, the high of it. It feels superb. It feels great.
Crazy.
Insane.
Will pick some stuff up and move on from here.

Magic. It's all magical. Crazy and insane. I feel in love with the place. In love with music and vibes. So so mesmerising - this moment. This now.
So beautiful is my present.
I feel so beautiful. Like the cosmos is in love with me again. Such magic.
Some cafe - Merry Christmas. Himalayas I love you. You are always a pleasure for my soul.
So trippy. So touchy.
I am overwhelmed.

.................

The first step - again!

I am just nervous - to get up and step out. This melancholy has become my warm comfort hole. I wanna stay inside and move out at the same time.
All that is stopping me is me. It can be a whole new beginning. Or maybe a perfect end?
Let's do it. Let's just do it.
Just the thought is making me excited. So many shades of colors boom in my mind. I can dance with this sudden gained energy.
The plan. The plan. I have none. Go with flow? What if? Chuck it.
Just go. Go. I can do it. I will do it. I don't know why how and where. But I can feel where to. Not sure of the added option? Should I? Isn't it...? Let's try? That's later.
For now. Let's go. So much motivation required for this? What has happened to me? To imagine the other side is also me.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's feel the flow. The end will be as spontaneous as the beginning. Rather I will beat my own records.

Just imagine
What will I do
If I see you
Once again.
I will laugh
With the twinkle of my eyes
Matching with yours.
And we will have
Our very special lingo.
Funny
How I imagine
What might never happen
Or may be
It will.
It will.
But would I be the same?
Do I wait for it?
No.
But I want it.
So so want it.
And feel that vibe
That warmth.
The trance -
Your charm.

Hours of emptiness

The hours of emptiness
You try to fill them
With plans, with people
With spontaneous actions.
You dress up
Look so good
But the right occasion
That is missing.
So an artificial creation.
If not original
Then the supplement.
Waiting.
These hours.
The time running out.
The time so ample in hand.
You wanna will it away.
You wonder
Why is it getting late.

My own Meta-human

So if you get a chance to go back again to one of your pasts...where will you go?
I, well I thought about it and I was immediately transported to one spot. And then the spot before that. Which made me wonder, what if this today becomes yet another spot in some future time? And I realised, everything had it's own relevance in past - each and every single dot. It was all incomprehensible at that point, in that state of mind. But now I can see it clearly, once it has all happened and now it's like a cloud.
Flash got a chance to go into his past, he didn't change it. Later he did change. What if I get to change. What will I change? Would I? But wasn't it the opportunity cost. Can I sacrifice what I got instead of first? I think each had it's value. All taught me something and made me what I am today.
I think I am way too passive in present. But am I not gaining depth at the same time? I know I will miss this too. For this too makes a part of me in my journey.
Flash though worked hard to get his power back. He didn't feel complete without his power. I just need my wander. Mystical Wanderer seeks her travels - at the same extensive level. Once your life becomes extraordinary. Ordinary stays a charm only when you taste it in little amount. Ordinariness is so not me now. It all seems mundane - this life - the one everyone leads.
I just can't give up my dreams. Can't be ordinary. Why else would I have lived in so much extra-ordinariness for so long.
I wouldn't have been subjected to so much of magic in my life. I would then have been satisfied in the normal. But I have grown out of those dimensions.
Moon is different amidst mountains accompanied by so many constellations and this tiny light of cosmos right upon my head trying to calm my crown chakra.
Flash got to go in the land of speedforce. Would I get to go back to my cosmic land as well? For that I got to get back my wander. The key is hidden in the lock. The answer is right in the question.
Got to figure out. Time travel? No. But the past knew a better technique? I too have Dr. Wells in my life. Like had a few of them. For I learned from many. Many are no more there building me further up.
I am all on my own. My own inspiration. My own goldsmith. My own Meta-human.

Vibe connections

For past two days I had been feeling anxious. So anxious that it was difficult to even sleep. Yet I slept for 15 long hours still waking up to a feeling of distress. A suffocation that I couldn't have described. Like something choking my lower throat. Like a heavy weight upon my chest.
I just came to know about this attack of Syria where so many people are suffering because of chlorine gas attack. It made me cry out of distress.
Could they have been connected? I mean I stay so far from them in India. Could I have been catching their vibes and the pain and suffering in it?
This is not the first time that this has happened to me. Often times I realise that the sudden mood swing was timed at the same moment when something huge occurred somewhere else.
Do I feel the energies even far from me?
After all aren't we all connected at the level of our consciousness? Are we not one common unit spread in so many shapes like a mirage. How would one not feel pain if the body gets hurt anywhere?
I can now understand the reason behind my burning eyes. How can I help is what I wonder? How can sending positive vibes to them help them who are sending their last messages to the world?
People who are alive in one moment and blown right then?
And if we are just recycled atoms of the five elements - who knows how many of them do I share my DNA with.
It is my soul which is hurt. My legs are paining. Mind so anxious that I have no control over it. I just wanna cry. And I don't know the reason of it.
I felt like I would die the last night. I felt I was having this psychic revelation with knowing my death before it's occurrence.
It seems insane to me even now - this idea of connecting that disaster to my sudden nervous breakdown but I know that the connection lies. For I can feel it.

Halfway closed!

Halfway closed!

Red and gold
Full round in sky.
A blue star.
Many stars.
Flashes of lightening
In different directions.
All over.
Like shooting stars.
Only missed by micro- seconds.
Trance of death
And life.
Streaks of moment.
Halfway closed.
The other half free
Tapping wildly.
Like the tail of a lizard
Wriggling right after
A fresh cut.
The red drowning
Behind a web.
Becoming a silhouette itself
In the grey mist.
I follow the moon
Till it becomes
An after effect.
A mirage.
A trail.
A sip of raw taste.
Sour and cold.
Rustic.
I return.
Watering the life around.
Another spun.

Kisse

Zindagi paani ki tarah
Behti jaati hai
Reh jaate hain
To kisse.
Hum aisa karte they.
Wahan aisa hota tha.
Wo ankhon ki chamak
Wo man ki khushi
Ek ehsaas hi to reh jaata hai
Jaise UN kaale aur safed
Sangeet ke suron mein
Koi ek lay choot gyi ho
Jaise dhadkan achanak
Kuch tez ho gyi ho.
Koi ek dhun
Koi baat
Achanak yaad dila deti hai
Mushkil SE thami lehron mein
Ufaan laa deti hai.

The extremes!

The extremes! Good and the bad. It all gets balanced - every act.
After insane activity, follows hollowed passivity. The stability part also falls somewhere in the middle of many waves around a calm core.
Let the light get filtered from the window of ancient rocks. It will give you wisdom of time. It will make you a rock.
Do remember to melt into finer element - the one which is sold upon those glass rags of the multiplexes. Or else be the light. Yes let it rip open your every pore. Dance with the trinkets rounds your anklets. Let them ring to the music of your heart.
Becoming rain drops right outside that window us also an alternative. But you gotta wait for the right moment. That falls occasionally. Oh but imagine the weightlessness, the peace of a free flow. Of letting yourself be whatever comes your way. Changing forms, changing shapes, flowing so.
Or else, be invisible. Be the void. Simply die. Stay alive. Aah! The extremes. They all get balanced.
Laugh and cry.

Towards dawn

Progressing towards a dawn towards the end of November. The last crescent of a silky goldish moon. One prominent star above it. The sky is a ruled sheet of greyish rainbow. Beginning from blackish grey on horizon to shades of red than yellow and blue and then a deep violet. The shades are changing every moment. A black bird passes between the moon and me.
The day is gaining it's glow now. It's getting brighter and clearer every moment. I can see a clear difference between shades right now.
A bridge seems broken below the moonlight. It's covered by a misty fog from all sides. It's beautiful and in solitude in the wide open rainbow sky. A single bird flies right below the moon and far from it.
The star accompanies it.
Sky gets richer in tones of red and yellow in the middle. An eagle flies right across it. There is blue on either sides of the red and yellow ribbon. And violet is reducing it's circumference.
The moon is a dull gold - fore vintage like. Sky in all other directions is now white.
Delhi seems like some other magical city this morning. So beautiful, so colourful - with a moon and me.

Mystical being

Everything is a myth - the earth and snow. So is the girl so beautiful - lying on a mud thatched floor. She is bare with the most pretty skin - the one that glistens in sun. It's soft and oily - it's smooth with hair falling gently. She lies stretched with her back facing sky. Towards her head is a wall - the same like that floor.
The tones of colors of her skin matches with that of the floor. Ortonish the effect with a dusty core.
They are chocolaty the shades of her. A white flower so fragrant to lure.
An earthen pot hanging from the ceiling - drop per drip - drips the warm essence of healing. The drips bounce then float upon her silky skin. She gasps a breath then lies so still.
The earth embraces her from below - the cold of soft mud merging with the warm vapors on floor.
Behind her were clouds - grey and snow white. They drown in the sea of sky.
And she enters into her most beautiful state of being. Oblivious the body - mystical being.

Her silver and gold

The giant moon
So red in color
It's bleeding golden
And a sweet voice
A sufi touch.
The moon seems like a face
Woman's
With her eyebrows
Large eyes
And pretty nose.
There are lips as well.
Her silver and gold
Flows like locks
On either sides.
And the halo is like sparks
In all directions
As if moon is
Inside a star.
If I half close my eyes
It's even closer
Reaching right between my lobes
Aah! What pleasure.
Just she and I
The beauty of this moon
Every moment
Passing by.

So close

You are so close
Like I can touch you
And hold you
In my arms.
I can let my head
Rest on your silver.
Can merge in you
Seamless
With no thunder.
But a gentle sweep
Right into your soul.
A love embrace
With all my coal.
Let's burn
To light the world.
Vibes of ocean
Let's listen to the pearls.
The walls of us
Are emerald colored
The shells.
But let's wriggle out
And merge in the world.
Let's be nameless
Let's be one with the world.
With all it's colors
And textures.
Let's love even sun.
You and I
One.

You are so close
Like I can touch you.
And hold you in my arms.
Dear Moon!

Thoughtless

I wanted to be
Thoughtless
Totally free of that burden
Of 'what if!'
Of 'why not?'
And I freeze my thoughts
Letting myself flow.
The world frozen
Into one time.
The puff of breath
Flows with no sound.
I go bare
For a fraction of second.
Orgasmic.
Out of the world.
No thoughts.
No swirl.
Hollowed space.
Not even air.
No. Not even a thought
About thought.
Moon fading in clouds.
High and low
In an extra slow motion.
That one sweep
Of beauty.
The dark sky around
No, no sound.
Tears drop from eyes.
So warm, so full
Of love.
I let them flow.
I let it go.
I dance
Upon my own beat.
Sarcastic and lonely.
And then the good feel
Of thoughtlessness.
Of cutting the reel.
No time. No tense.
No words. No desires.
Only one
Of thoughtlessness.
Fie.

Almost full

Almost full
The moon!
With it's beautiful flaws
Shining in it's womb.
The gold it spreads gently
All over it.
Even around.
Like a glass of whiskey
Filled till brim.
Feels good tonight
Strangely free
So so light.
Lot of work
Healthy smile.
I look at the moon
Ready to confine
My all
Into it.

Nothing stays forever

I have been against normal
The stagnant stable life
The houses build in one shape
The so called society.
I never got the reason
Behind marriage,
For stability.
For I have been a Wanderer
I person who feels at home
When on roads.
And I often seek changes
I look for variety.
Changes in places,
People,
Even homes.
And I was blessed with
Way many beautiful moments
When you just feel like
Saving the moment
For ever.
And that forever I realised
Is the reason.
For it is a myth.
A utopia.
Now I know the reason
Why people seek love,
Build homes,
Make families.
The reason is
To avoid pain.
Pain that changes bring.
Helplessness
That is time's kin.
For then remains
Memories
Of the times of magic
Of those moments.
So they choose one partner
Choose one place
With a desperate attempt
To hold time.
To feel that forever.
But no stories show
'Happily forever'
It is a myth my friend
Just like never.
For only nothing stays forever
Not even love
Even family.
Life is short my friend.
So live as much
As many times
As you want.

Crumpled sheets

Love! I've seen
Alot of it.
It is hidden
Amidst those morning
Bed spread.
The crumpled sheets.
Thrown into ignorance
Distorted lingerie.
The surprise choco truffles.
Those smiles.
The uncalled gidders.
Sometimes it pulls you
Right from the waist
And makes you prance
At a thumping pace.
And the comfort
Upon that warm touch.
Sometimes, it's just invisible
Still there. Like air.
It lies in that silence.
The understanding.
In changed decisions.
In those eyes
So cold to precision.
It stirs
In the warm coffee
Right on a bed
With a smiley melody.
I have even seen it
In fights.
In those angry remarks.
Those nerves so tight.
And then it flows
Along with tears.
So pure. So washed.
With time - in fear.
I have seen love
Alot if it.
But it doesn't seem to end
The craving for it.
And it is not limited
To someone
Or something.
It is huge.
It is a special feeling.
All about vibes I feel.
The fuel of soul
Is love I feel.

Get Anxious!

Anxiety!
A little amount of it
Is surely required.
Actually a lot of it.
I don't mean getting tensed
About something.
Or maybe I do.
But what is essential
To get upset
About a situation
Then change it.
Change! Aah!
It's so evil.
But beautiful.
Falls in the best of
Your times.
And hides itself
At your worst.
I tried being thankful
For the present.
I tried being happy
In the moment
But if all around
You see something
Else instead
No matter how much
You try to be.
Then my friend,
Get anxious.
Yes, upset about it.
Then only
You Change it.
For the fighter spirit
Comes only then.
With emotion
With a stand.
Being calm about everything
Won't help.
Waiting for the right time
Will eventually
Gift you rust.
Get up!
Get anxious.
Feel about about it.
So bad that you
Change it.
It had a reason.
It's a beauty.
Yes!
Get Anxious.

To explore

Do something cosmos
Now you gotta turn your wheel
Spray the magic spray maybe.
Move huge amount of energy
Or slide away the unseen
Obstructions.
But I need just one thing
Right now
The way!
Yeah! I am Mystical Wanderer.
And I like them lost
My ways.
It often makes me feel good
The mystery
To explore.
But you see
I always have
This instinct
The voice
From inside.
This time
It seems so hopeless.
Like it's all good.
So so comfortable.
But something inside
It's dieing.
It want to seize
The world and days.
Time. To shine.
You gotta do something.
This time.
I have faith.
I just keep doing
Karma.
But it is for Karma
I crave.
The right one
To phrase.
I won't compromise.
No. Not coz of my ego.
But respect
For who I am.
For what experiences
You infused me with.
For the talents
I am blessed with.
I know the big Change
Is somewhere coming.
But it all seems
Like a fairy tale.
Like Waiting for Godot.
But weren't those tales
So true
In my childhood.
In my dreams
They still come true.
You gave me
The power to dream.
They were all
Visions
That I saw
From our power.
We are one
Or so I know.
We gotta help me.
We gotta explore
The way.
Aah! This again.
Hello Mystical Wanderer.
I feel the same.

And I dance

I feel so light tonight
Like I shouldn't dance
That too up here
On terrace
Am aware of the
Poisonous smog.
But I just can't stay inside
Day n night.
And it is so crucial
This coming out
Atleast at night.
But the eyes burn now
So do my heartbeat
That I can still feel.
But I so love to dance.
Hence I dance.
I have the power from inside.
No PMS can harm me so.
No destruction more than
Self destruction.
That's why
Am not afraid.
And I dance
Jumping.
My legs' sweep
Rotate forming archs
Half the round
And then I hop
More upwards
Than ever coming back.
But the landing is still smooth
Still on my toes.
And I sit closing my eyes
Thumping my hands
From air till my shoulders
Thrusting them on beats.
I intake an anecdote
Some smoke.
Along with fog.
And I release it all
Like attacking the army
Outside.
Alas! It's all the same
Either sides of the boundary.
We are humans.
Meant to be made of love.
All I see
Is a diseased society.
I feel the pain.
I ignore it.
Dance to make my self happy.
Am I being selfish?
Should I plant a tree?
Or maybe blame government?
Or pray to the Western disturbances
To stop being
The constant foe?
Maybe I should blame the neighbours
For burning their waste
Without bothering about us?
Meanwhile we all suffer
While blaming each other.
No. I say no.
Let's just sit down.
Try taking a breath.
Look inside yourself.
Realise where we have come to.
So I dance in this moment.
Sending some happy vibes
To the universe.
Not careless though.
But aware yet oblivious.
For life is short to change everything.
But if I work on myself
I change what is in it
For me.

Beautiful smog!

On the eve of Diwali
I had wished to die.
I didn't rather
A beautiful smog
Covered Delhi.
I had already cancelled my plan
To travel.
If it was to see Delhi
In it's beauty?
I wondered.
Few days passed.
I realised may be God heard
My plight.
I was blessed with death
That very night.
For the look at this air
Like those beautiful sea rocks
In Sindbad the sailor.
They take you to a dream land.
They are such beauties.
But tranced out you realise
It's choking you
Burning your eyes.
Ether is filled with smoke my friend.
We are all dieing.
All thanks to smog.

It feels unique

Wherefrom do I begin
The tale of my life
The many akin.
I see my reflection
Everywhere.
Yet it feels so unique
Inside me.
The dreams
Or aspirations.
They are different.
Not that I don't want success.
Only that I learned
Living my life
Much before the
Word 'Success'.
And I learn to use the word
Somewhere in between.
So the hierarchy
And it's priority
Is kind of conditioned
In my head.
And I define it also
A bit differently.
I wish I can talk about
Senses and their exposure
First.
For they are the first things
I could relate.
Meanwhile happened
My stand.
The rationality
Of wrong from right.
And loopholes were also
Either given like
Cheat codes.
Or else they were
Self- taught.
But I knew from my childhood
That being honest
Is right.
But in order to save someone
From getting hurt.
It is OK to lie.
Now I chose instead.
I stayed stuck to the first moral.
I see it as my limit
At certain calls.
But the point is
That dubiousness remains.
To what is right
And what is strong.
Which weakness is OK
To publicise.
Where one should be strong.
Apart from one key note
Somewhere as an additional note
Tagged below the page
In extremely small font.
It says, 'listen to your
Inner voice'.
That - just that decides
The right and wrong for me.
And I have been following it since
I really liked the message.
But it's upto each of us
If of that one light
We take any notice.
Sometimes
It can't be seen.
And you comprehend
A certain passage of your life
Through yet another
Misty lens.
It is social in nature,
Can even be personal.
But it is colored
All the times.
In the mist of
Dubiousness.

Should I?

Crazy idea in head
I just wanna leave
This cosy comfy nest
And go out in wilderness
With hardly any penny.
Like just jump into
The valley, the world.
To flow with the flow.
Make music everywhere.
And fulfill my dream
Of a caravan
All alone.
Maybe all good will befall
Who knows
I may even fall.
And die
All high.
But atleast
I would have tried.
Without any resource
From my side
Just this time.
A trust on cosmos
A trial of time.
Should I?
Aah! It's tempting.
The idea itself
Is filled
With excitement
With adventure.
The weather calls otherwise.
Says now is the time
You should be warm
Inside.
But I so wanna be out
Living it.
All loud.
Maybe I will.
I will.

Razor sharp

There is this strange sadistic pleasure
In hurting those
Who hurt you.
Like I have been good
Most of my life till now.
But I see an inner goodness
In sometimes
Doing that for which
The heart whines.
Like say it
Right on the face.
The bitter truth.
The repressed tale.
Make it iron sharp
So thin to pierce
Right through a heart.
Need not be visible.
Your words
Make them real.
There are good dreams
And bad dreams.
When in rage
Make the bad ones true.
Not of yours
But of others.
Then feel
The sadistic pleasure.
But then get over it.
Don't sit upon it too long.
Say it and forget.
Give it sometime.
Use it only when you feel
You are right.
As such good and bad,
Right and wrong
Are all myths my friend.
So do listen
To your inner voice.
But say it on face
When you feel it right.
Never on your own.
No. Let the situation happen.
And then let those words flow
Razor sharp, give the blow.
And then see the effect
Light and free
Bliss so red.

Zombied

She tries
with all her might
To give it love
To bring it back to life.
The life that has escaped
From it's once bright eyes.
She sings to it
That lullaby
That she often sang
When the baby was alive.
She now looks
At the large sack
Lying silent
On the bed.
Sleeping, talking to
It's own walls
Shutting the outer world
Lost in the nostalgic file.
The baby! She misses it.
She calls other children
To come and be alive
All around her child.
She sings, she tries to talk
But no.
Nothing works on her
Dead child.
She cries
In the solitariness of her nights.
She prays deeply
To her faith, to remove
That wild effect
Out of her child.
But the kid
It is poisoned.
With the reality
Called life.
And it lives now
Zombied
Almost dead like.

EDM in head

EDM in head today
Can't stop my feet.
Feel Unstoppable.
So electrified.
I feel fired.
All set for new.
So powerful.
Like a winner.
The pressure inside
Is hard to subside.
Like I can fly.
Even burst
Like a fireball.
Just this moment.
The beats.
The heartbeat.

Roleplay

What if I say
That I role play
While writing my poems.
That the emotions are true.
Not extremities.
But somewhere
Inside
It all might be true.
When I look at those actors
On screen.
I wonder
What must be in their mind
While acting that
When transcended
Into a character like that.
What about the love scenes,
Even the sad ones.
To bring tears to your eyes
Is easy.
But how do they get
The sorrow into their eyes?
How do they show
The depth of soul?
And there I find
A similee
That emotions are limited.
Life just seems to be of many.
How boring it all seems
From one point of view
Just keep changing the faces
The same spot
Different scenes.
As many stories
Same emotions.
Sometimes we even find
Same to same names.
Some we feel we have
A soul connection with.
Some seem so different
So out of our league.
But it is all same
My friend.
Every story
With it's every range.
We are all diving
In the same ocean.
The waves might differ.
I might be this today.
Tommorow it will seem
All different.
But in this life
Where we want to
Achieve something
Be somebody.
We are all just diving
In the ocean of
Roleplay.

Red wall

On every special
Puff of breath
A picture comes in my mind.
Like a dear fragrance
From past.
No person in particular.
But a self painted
Red wall.
Full of pictures.
And that ehsaas
Of being in that room.
Living it free.
I being me.
I pull myself back
From that Street
That reached
A beautiful lakeside park.

I feel thankful
For my present.
Realise I am wasting it
Thinking of past and future.
That I should be in this moment.
And I realise
The eternal
Wheel of thoughts.
The end of one song.
And hollowness
Fills my mind.
I decide
To end the story
Right there.
But there
Another beautiful song
Begins.
It's a man
Wailing for his past.
But the music is sweet.
Human folly.
Yet too touchy.
Am I denying
The emotions?
Why?
Guess wanna stay practical.
To 'move on'.
To where?
I wonder.
'It's no easy journey',
I feel.
The pain that inside
Sits.
Keyboard songs
With all it's wooden hollowness.
Flute weeps
With the scream
Of a throat
Subdued
Into the inner spirit.
It says,
Change the song!
This one is nice.
Classical Sur.
The picture too
Seemed satisfied.
But the pain
In this voice.
Aah! Sitar in background.
Like a fort in dessert.
And there another one
Remembers someone.
He says, 'she is merged
In his memories.
Into him'.
I laugh
At the many headedness
Of this beautiful pain.
The pain called love.
The emotion
So beautifully sprayed
In the painting of our lives.
Like a varnish
That protects us
From dust.
That makes us shine.
Like a change in contrast
Every color under it
Shines.
But also are illuminated
The flaws of the painting.
Places which require shading.
Lines that become haunting.
And there I feel
The overall effect
That love gives.
Connection with the whole.

I can reach you

Maybe just maybe
I can reach you
And pull you
Right into my self.
For a moment or two
I will stroke your hair
Will keep your head in my lap
Will give you a massage.
Relax your shoulders
Even your neck.
Will let my cold fingers
Make hints of circles
Around your eyes.
And if you will fall asleep
I will lay by your side.
But if you would rather
Choose to feel life
That will be the moment
To get wild.
I would rather have you bare
Of your burdens
 And pains
Like bring them on
And then
Just let them be.
Tell me.
I will listen to you.
Or just be silent.
I won't judge you.
But for those moments
That we gonna be together
All I want from you
Is you to be
Really you.
Maybe just maybe
I will reach you
And pull
Right into myself.

Miracles happen!

Have faith. Give your best.
Miracles happen.
You get to rest.
Cosmos has it's own designs.
Desire deep.
Don't stress your mind.
It is weird
How we value things
When they are
Not in our hands.
Either before or after.
Never when it is there
Right beside
Smiling right.
Maybe we do value sometimes
Every fleeting moment.
The passing
Of time.
But dearie
Life is so
Not in our hands.
Have faith in cosmos.
Give your story
The best you can.

Violin on wind

Aah! The cloud
Of nostalgia.
So beautiful.
So colourful.
I am in your arms.
And we swim
In the flow of chords.
Like a violin
Exposed to a stormy wind.
And left
On it's own accord.
It plays
Wild then smooth.
Pampering the passion
Even soul.
The cloud bursts
Bringing me
To your absence
So deeply present
All around me.
And I couldn't see?
Maybe I avoided.
For I wasn't strong enough.
Or maybe I was
Way too strong
It needs strength to leave love
For hence lies
The true love.
And I set you free
My friend.
And there I understand love
Like a pinch of salt extra
Way too extra
In an otherwise mundane curry.
And I gulp down the burning
Extra salty paste.
For it gives me the flavour
Of extreme, of pain.
And I dive into those waves
Crawling greedily
On a sandy shore.
This time at night
With the warmth of water
Gently warming
The cold sand - spread
All around.
Heaped like a depository.
But the waves enter deep
Right through the pores.
And there I feel love
Flowing in my nerves.
You merged in me.
I feel free.

Underground Metro

While using underground Metro
A thought occurred to my mind
Aren't we taking modern versions
Of ancient models of tunnels
For granted
Those tunnels connected states
Sometimes countries
These tunnels
Are more webbed
All over a city
And it is way too quick
Imagine the change
The mobility.
Time does change
But the models remain
Well! Modernity.
Or is it Post?
Wait till we too
Become ancient
And to reach a place
You disappear
Into a thin cloud.

Breaking into an everyday

The strong coffee
Aromatic morning
I feel happy and revived
To experience this
This morning.
It is so comfortable
An everyday.
A pan so busy frying
Fresh vegetables into
Cooked delicacies.
A set of eyes
Sleeping peacefully
Right parallel to this room.
A distant motor on road
Breaks the trance
While merging into
An everyday.

Down my spine

A sudden chill
Down my spine
Throughout my legs.
I shiver to the nursing arms
So cold with the absence.
I kiss gently
The rusted soft tissues
With that pattern of chap
So dried with exposure
To time and smoke.
Unlayering the hard earned layers
Of ego and solitude.
Of a broken muse.
The eyes they have lost
Their spark.
And there I see
My reflection.
That probably is
The attraction.

Kisi ke jeeney mein

'Ik shabhnami moti ne meri
Tamaam zindagi thaveel kar di.
Ik lamhe ke liye.
Is lamhe ho Kaise fariyaad karun
Jisne meri zindagi sanwari
Jisne mujhe khwabon ki
Dher saari khushiyon se
Aarasta kiya
Zindagi yun hi jamagati rhegi
Kai safino mein.
Zara Gaur kar ke dekh
Is chehkti duniya ko
Yahan kuch nahi bus
Ik gamo ka khazana hai.
Zindagi to iske baad
Shuru hone wali hai.
Jab jyun ki yaqeen AA jayega.
In lamhon ki khoobsurti ko
Khushiyon SE nibhaya karo
Vrna yadein to rahengi
Par tum dhundhte rahoge.
Milegi tum ko ye hargiz
Magar tum rahoge
Wo na rahega.
Kai aur khwabein honge
Tabeerein to hongi usmei
Magar tabeer karne wala na hoga.
Zindagi to bus
Chaar dino ka faasla hai.
Rooh to tadpegi apki
Magar mujasma na hoga.
Zindagi mein dushwarian
Ayein jayengi.
Dushwariyan rahengi
Magar tumhari dastaan
Tak na rahegi.
Dastano main.
Bahaut ho gye afsane yaron
Kisi ke jeeney ke liye
Apna jeena
Kurbaan kar dete hain.'

Lamhe lamhe ko jeete hain
Chal aaj is pal ko seete hain
Yaqeen aur mohabbat
Imaam aur muqaddar.
Kal ayega shayad
Kal hi.
Tum chale jaogey.
Hum bhi jeena seekh lenge
Kal ka kya pata
Kya tum aogey?
Is pal mein jee lete hain
Zindagi rahegi
To kuch aur pal payenge
Yakeeno yaarano mein khumaar
Kal bhi humei
Saath khada payenge.

'Parvaaz' aur Mystical Wanderer

Turning slowly into purple

Sea beach
You and I
We are playing
Running on shimmering
White sand
Sun showers
Shades of red
In a sky like
A color pallette
I can see many shades
Of red and yellow
Turning slowly into purple
Finally merging
In the deep blue sea.
I collect some shells
Lazing so free.
But I can't carry them.
For then I will pull them
Out of there fate.
They look beautiful
In the wide open sea.
They belong to it.
Freedom
Is this moment.
Art is born-free.

Magical like always

Playing the rhythm again
It's magical like always
It always touches my soul
Relaxing instrumental music
This one is just violin
Along with waves
Crashing some shore
They touch some chord inside
A corner of which
Am not sure.
To write
I have to compromise
For the music stops then
And yet it has it's aftereffects
It leaves it's traces hence.
Like an affair right after
You split
For a little time
You are still used to
Those tiny acts so inhabited
As part of your
Just lost life.
Sometimes the time stretches
So long to an obsession.
But every memory fades down
If not life then death takes hand.
And here dies the memory
I try so hard to remember it
The sand just lost from my fist
Trolling from the sandy shore.
I look at the scarred colors
A design now smeared
And then I wipe
The scattered footsteps
Of a presence
No more with me.
There I sit again
Once again redoing
The picture I once began
Only this time
The colors are new
Upon same stencil
Fresh to comprehend.
The picture is
Even better.

Tattoos of time

You magnify your layer
To a closer view
Wearing all it's atrocities
With pride
Like tattoos of time.
The silver rhymes.
The waves rave over your face.
And you try to create
Yet another maze.
This time showing
The inner confusion
Outside.
Alas! The world
Still considers it
A mask!
Only a hard layer below
Is the soft crush
The real flow
That is not devoid
Of moist my friend.
That is still warm
Unlike crust so close.

Spell bounded

The magnificent set of eyes
Spell bounding conversation
A heart so pure
A meet to lure
It was magical
The first meet.
I loved every moment of it
The coffee, the walk,
Sitting by a running street.
You are a raw soul
So experienced
Warm and cold.
Eyes to enchant every glance
Cheeks with dimples in it
Those three lines on either sides
Of your eyes
When you smile
They are incredible.
And the way you express
Such adversities
In a way so simple
They are your fuel
They bring a glow in your eyes
A man without lies.
Thanks for a beautiful meet
Will wait for yet another one
And another one.
For that is what friendships require
A constant nurturing
A little time.

When I dress up

When I dress up
A bit more
Like more than
The casual ragged me
I feel conscious.
Like too beautiful to be true
For the crowd looks at me
In such way.
And I get such eager glances
On my way.
Some eyes filled with desire
Some lashes aroused
To admire.
And I feel funny about
Those teasing piercing eyes
Of various aunts outside.
Most try to closely observe
A flaw or more
To criticise.
A sudden smile
At an innocent situation
Comes as a surprise.
'Was it really me?
Out of my walls
On surrender.'
But it makes me light
This being bright.
For the observations
Are all in my mind.
And situation too
Is mirror image of inside.

One last time

The night will collide
The dawn will still reach dusk
The union
Will leave it's mark
The moment of love.
That one instance
Where the sky
Will not know
It's exact shade.
The moon will just glow
About to fade.
And the candle will glow
With all it's beauty
One last time
For life! Alive!
Before
Obscurity.