Strangled spirit

I feel like running away
From blames and names
From this suffocative cave.
My own thoughts
Strangle my spirit.
This hollowness
This mundane shit.
The stability - it hampers me
I'm a lover of extremes.
How I detest this nothingness
How much I crave
To be me.
And the efforts seem wasted
The fate all twisted.
I try to convince myself
With some motivating clutter
The ants trying again n again
The spiders weaving
Eternally again.
But all that fails
To convince my feelings
The hard work invested
The hopes, the dwellings.
Maybe it's all for the best
Or so I tell myself.
But the reality from either sides
Is clawing it's chide.
Blames and names
Misunderstandings
Defame.
Not that I mind it
Hardly matters
Who thinks what
Who says it.
But then it affects
Subtle is it's impact.
I stand tall
Strong in front of it all.
But deep inside
I feel like running away
From names and blames
From this suffocative cave.