Adios! Nature calling!

This - this excitement with a pinch of fear, this is orgasm for me. Travel again. Solo - the joy of it.
It will be a new place and ofcourse my very new journey. Heart is overjoyed. Like always - nothing planned. Not even packing done as yet. It's a spontaneous plan. And I will make it more random. Will just pack and leave - I love it this way.
Oh! In few hours I will be in a bus. And Tommorow somewhere in the lap of Himalayas. The weather today is so amazing. It already feels like a trip. Feels so so wonderful.

Leave but stay!

Leaving comfort zone
Sometimes becomes
Difficult.
Like you crave for the big change
You seek those tiny desires
And those mundane things
That were boring
Suddenly get
All your love
All your pain.
Like you wanna leave
Yet stay
In the same rhythm
The same red corner
Which has newly gained
A fresh string of
Blue clouds
And is breezy and rainy
After a long time.
The birds sing a special song
A new  beautiful moment
Full of love
Has to be left.
Will you stop?
The feet still know
Their way.
All charged up with
Emotions
With half pleasure
Half pain
You still keep moving.
The show must go on
The journey must continue.
Leaving comfort zones
Sometimes
Becomes difficult.

Between Haves and Have nots

To buy freedom to do anything
I got to sell my freedom itself.
Discipline, control, time -
are their demands.
In return I'll get money
To buy the things I require
The places I wanna go to
The activities I wanna get into.
Alas! All without time.

No, work is not enough.
Neither meeting deadlines.
Nor my efficiency or skills.
They want to enslave.
My entity - they wanna kill.

I'm supposed to write an essay
Upon why I'm fit for the job.
But, I'm not.

I can't lose myself
In The process.
Can't lie in lieu of excess.

Then I stroll in the expensive mall
Halting at occasional stalls.
Observing a clear divide
Between haves & have nots.
The lights sparkle upon -
Nails being polished,
Perfumes being tried,
Kids building walls of sponge,
Smooth clothes hanging around.
I observe.
Wonder, Is it want or need!
How much of it do I want?

I've been there, done that.
I can be there again.
Drinking in the cool cafes
Buying the ravishing stilettos

I enter a book store.
Window shopping is against
My ethics.
But, books are books.
They offer ideas
Even by the cover page.
I get into a multitude
Of emoticons, ideas, seeds.

I think of a novel -
My novel.
I wonder, will it be a hit?
But that's not how am writing.
It's more to do with
What my heart wants from it.

Will I get old and never really
Live it?
Aah! Life seems so trivial
Like often.
Keep running behind money
Till time outruns you.
All I want is something
Real creative.
Something huge
Not just money.
Not just a 'that's it!'

Wanna buy freedom
With freedom.
Wanna propogate time
With time.
While loving and living
Every moment
That I live.
Breathing nature,
Creating, evolving,
Contributing to the larger good.

And not just sell a product
Or simply make profit.
But to leave an impact
In the society
With beauty, art, creativity.
With no limits, no boundaries
No school like attendence
No stereotypical limitations.

But an amoeba-like
Free society.
Ready to go abstract.
Together, connected,
Supporting each one
Like a unit as a whole.
Like we not I.
The free we.
Limitless, boundless.
Artistic and abstract.

BDM! Really?

I don't know why 'Business development manager' is even a term for what it is. They should rather name it as telecalling position or something. I mean I see BDM as a person who develops a business with ideas, strategies, management, hacks to get things done with as less resources and as much output.
But reality out there limits it to making cold calls and selling products/services like one is selling for just money rather than offering something useful for the other person.
I won't ever see myself going around asking people to buy me for anything. I would rather be so awesome that people come for the qualities and unique abilities that I and only I contain. Likewise should be the case with any firm I belong to or am connected to.
I feel sad when a company calls for business development expertise and then diminishes its own stature along with insulting my abilities by including this cold calling.
Now I am not against it. I am sure it has skills involved and needs huge patience along with art to call someone randomly and convince them enough to make them buy or believe your words. Plus, how will a firm make its place out there in the begining or grow as a firm. But I can't connect with it. Nor I can find the name of the position suitable for the work involved.
So what could be the solution for a firm seeking growth beyond 'word of mouth'?
Guess digital marketing offers huge scope for it. True, its a but difficult for a new firm. And then the world is so apprehensive about giving a chance to fresh companies or even freshers. Nonetheless, it's also an age of start ups.
And yes, I believe... The dignified ones need not go out and impose 'I exist' to people in person or beg to be given a chance to. Their work speaks for itself.
And the work of a BDM I feel should begin from strategising part. The new ideas of growth, potential, collaborations with interested clients, development beyond the existing vision of firms.

Thirst

The thirst, the craving
For the unknown
The unsaid.
The desire
For that on fire
To burn me
With its utmost passion.
Keyboard plays
Ups and downs
The blacks and white.
An inner spirit does
A mini waltz
Craving to jump
And glide
On drums
On slides.
Hills and valleys call
To merge in
The waterfall.
The deep blue sky
Seems one
With sea
Attracting the soul
To eternity.
The thirst, the craving
For the unknown.
The unsaid.

Heart pounds

Icy around
Post Sweaty trip
Bumps waving
Head tapping
Heartbeat throbbing
Beats and drums
Frequent sweeps
Hoarse dusky voice
In background
Red light
After golden moon light
Inside walls
With dreams of
Pushing them
Outwards
Order in heart.
Beats and drums.
Carnival.
Carefree hops.
Serpentine sways.
Right on a cushion
Legs vibrating
With excitement.
Mysterious scent.
A moon with a bird
Above the coffee woman
Sitting on a tree.
Trees absent
On an empty wall
With branches dancing
On the empty wall.
And the body dances
Secret prances.
Bumps thump.
Legs whirl.
Head taps.
Right and left.
Soft spurs.
Passionate sweeps.
Breeze sings in rounds.
Heart pounds.
Sudden hollowness.
Break then beats.
Overjoyed.
Gasoline.
Ablaze.
Mystical maze.
Passion breathing high.
In curves and thumps.
Touch of a wisp.
The cloudy ray
Above the moon
Has now reached
Above the bed.
Inside my head.
Electrified.
Thumps. Throbs.
Taps.
Break.
Echo.
Arise.
Carefree.
Free.
Touch again.
Serpentine curves.
Beats. Meets.
Taps. Whirls.
Rhythm.
Windy around.
Hold. Break.
Heavy breaths.
Mild state.

Let's be we

You
Think again
I have all my passion
For you
All my love
All my pain.
I have seen myself
With you.
Growing
Along with you.
Now, it's upto you.
My ego compels me
To not take
Another step
Towards you.
Or may be
It is self respect.
But the heart
It aches
For it has seen itself
Along with you.
Merged in you.
Hey you!
Think again.
You may get many.
Likewise with me.
But now that I have
Seen myself with you
Half of it is done.
The passions have been
Aroused
The planning part done.
It's time to turn them real.
Hey you! Think again.
Never mind.
Upto you.
But I do mind.
Every second of distance
From you.
You became a dream
Almost turned real
And now you seem
So distant.
So another world.
Hey you!
Think again.
I have seen
Us
And it is beautiful.
It is huge.
So so alive.
I have seen it
Live.
The dreams
Turn alive.
Should I take
Another step.
I will loose
My respect.
Plus you should
Need me the same.
Else it will always be
Unequal.
You! Think again.
Let's be we.

Wind in my dreads

Passing through a dark tunnel
Looking towards a distant opening
Goldish tinted moon
Pulling me
I feel empowered
Racing, dancing towards it
Step per step
Beat per beat
Watching at the garland
Of scars in moon.
Dancing towards it.
Hopping
Crushing
Swaying
With full power.
Look straight
Into the eyes
Of the golden moon.
In open now
Upon a giant cliff
Wind in my dreads
Background of lightening
Sound of slashing swords
Straight into the eyes
Of the blazing moon.
Step per step.
Beat per beat.
Dancing.
Tapping.
Waltzing.
With head straight.
Head held high.
Cold eyes
Into the moon.
Straight into its eyes.
Waves below.
Crashing at the cliff.
I walk till edge.
Looking at the moon.
Dancing.
Crashing.
Step per step.
Beat per beat.
I look at the blazing sky.
Straight into the moon.
Moon so high.
I hear the ether.
The water.
The wind.
I take a breath.
Jump into it.

The walk

Walking past lanes per lanes
Trespassing the sun drenched
People and trees
I sit on a footpath
Behind the cars packed
Then in a lonely
Isolated park
Followed by the fence
Of another park
To a walk again
Into the third park
Surprisingly
There is no breeze
Not even an ounce of life
The trees are dead
The dogs sitting in a puddle
Trying to sooth
Themselves
Of the heat
And life's riddle.
I walk by
Through lanes per lanes
Phone on flight mode
Songs with beats
Tapping my pain.
I notice the drooped down faces
Lust in few eyes
Despair walking in carcasses.
It's night.
Few are even walking
Post dinner.
Looking at me
With surprise
Or indifference.
I am in denim shorts
With a loose tee
With one off shoulder
My bra strap
Is a play button
For many smirks
Upon those ladies
Frustrated
With heat and mundaneness.
I walk by all this
Observing, noticing
Every detail.
The dead leaves
On those beautiful trees.
The bored people
Playing cards in a park.
The dogs wagging their wet tails
The guards checking me out
With a strange cunning
In their eyes.
I walk by.
Only to finally reach
Home
Sweet home
The door opens
And an air conditioned room
Welcomes me
Chilled water
Orange juice
I sure feel lucky
To have a home
With a family
Amenities
And realise
It's mundaneness
That ensures
This life.
I wish Delhi was better
In it's weather
More green
And clean
More pleasant
With many streams.
And I lie on my bed
Thinking about the walk
Noting down my reflections.

Loss

What will you do
If one fine day
You find out that
Everything you had
Is lost.
Heads down on land
Facing the dirty road
What will you do?
Well! You gonna get up
Wipe yourself
And try to sit again.
Or else
People may come
May help you
May stare at you
May leave you just there.

But would you let yourself
Just wait for people?
Would you not just get up
Take care of yourself.
I would.
Surely.

Now, I've lost so much in my life
With that said
It also means
That I gained as much.

But loosing places, people,
Entities, dreams
Is not everyone's cup of tea.
Actually, none likes it.
Loss is painful.
But essential.
And happens to everyone.

Few are lucky.
They are not sensible enough
To feel it.
Few are simply
Indifferent to it
or beyond it.
Few treat loss as scar
Few make it a tattoo.
For some it's too big a deal
They never get up again
They get smeared
In the losers' crew.

I, I consider it
A part of the journey
We loose so much everyday
That is how we gain.
The cells keep
Getting destroyed
Blood changes
Every three days
It's Shiva's energy I feel
Regeneration
Is its name.

So I get up
Laugh sometimes
Clean my bruises gently
Get up to shine.

I have lost people, places,
Lives, believes.
With that I have gained
More than that
Always with my zeal.

What will you do
If one fine day
You find out that
Everything you had
Is lost.
Heads down on land
Facing the dirty road
What will you do?
Well! You gonna get up
Wipe yourself
And try to sit again.

But yes, make sure
That the next time
You fall better
And you loose more.
That's how it keeps going
The journey of core.

Strangled spirit

I feel like running away
From blames and names
From this suffocative cave.
My own thoughts
Strangle my spirit.
This hollowness
This mundane shit.
The stability - it hampers me
I'm a lover of extremes.
How I detest this nothingness
How much I crave
To be me.
And the efforts seem wasted
The fate all twisted.
I try to convince myself
With some motivating clutter
The ants trying again n again
The spiders weaving
Eternally again.
But all that fails
To convince my feelings
The hard work invested
The hopes, the dwellings.
Maybe it's all for the best
Or so I tell myself.
But the reality from either sides
Is clawing it's chide.
Blames and names
Misunderstandings
Defame.
Not that I mind it
Hardly matters
Who thinks what
Who says it.
But then it affects
Subtle is it's impact.
I stand tall
Strong in front of it all.
But deep inside
I feel like running away
From names and blames
From this suffocative cave.

Ready for life

Ever been for para-sailing?
Life I feel is
Somehow similar.
It takes you to the height
Entire sea comes into sight
And then bang
It splashes you
Into that very sea
You manage to breath
Thrilled for the first time
Ready to go up again
One more time
It picks you up
And bang
Another splash
With water
One on one
A series of bumps
You can't stand.
Aah! Para sailing
You assume that's the thrill of it
To fall back amidst waves
Again n again.
The guide too has its fun
Tapping you into the water
With force
again n again.
And you return back to the ship
All shocked
With a memory
of that one moment
Where you were in sky
At that height
From where the entire sea was visible
From where
Everything seemed feasible
And that is what
Compels you
To go for it again
Next time
Despite of knowing the game
And you ask the guide
To give you
Even better jirks
The next time
For you get thrill in it
Falling from above
In a colorful horizon
From that height!
Yeah life! More jirks I desire
Keep tapping me
I am ready for this life.

House of cards

House of cards
Has been an eternal challange
Takes immense patience
With concentration
Dedication
And collection.
And there
A slight wisp of breeze
Blows the beauty away
The hard work, the toil
It all lies flat
Calling to be built
Again.
House of cards
Is not everyone's cup of tea
It is only attempted
By those who love to be free
Free from attachments
And rigidities.
They just believe to create
And they understand
That destruction is
Part of the game.
Every time the house falls
They pick up the clay
And mould it afore
Every time
Better than the last time.
The house of cards now stands
All beautiful
More complicated,
More modulated
Ready for The next blow of wind
Ready to be re-built.

कबड्डी

रूह कुछ तृप्त सी है
मन कुछ शान्त सा
मानो सब कुछ एक खेल हो
और अस्तित उससे अंजान सा।
आज सब ख़ुशी दे
अगला लम्हा ग़म ले आये
ये सब खेल ही तो है
कभी धूप कभी छांय।

कबड्डी कबड्डी कबडडी
दुनिया उछलती है।
मौके की उम्मीद से
ओहदे गड़ती है।

कब्बड्डी ये करो
कबड्डी आगे बड़ो
कबड्डी रुक जाओ
देख़ो दुनिया जीत के लिए
क्या क्या करती है।
पर जीत किस से और हार कैसी?
खेल खेल में
ज़िन्दगी कहाँ रही

ये सब हिस्सा है
उस छल का
जिससे गुज़रना है
ज़िन्दगी तो उससे काफी ऊपर
काफी अलग है
उसमें खुश रहना
प्यार से रहना
सबसे बड़ा रहम है।

In gratitude

Gratitude
Is a deep felt emotion
Can bring tears
Can swipe long believed notions
It brings out
The humblest of self
It brings love
For everything around
For Everyone
Even oneself.

Gratitude
Is a deep felt emotion.
It gives one
The faith in cosmos
The belief in oneself.
For even in the most adverse situations
Gratitude fills colors
To the black shelf.

Here, sitting on a cliff
Surrounded by forest
In an isolated mist
I feel it
The deep most emotion.
For the breeze in my locks
And the two blue lanes
Further down
And this one beautiful rock
Like my throne
And a nice companion
Weaving with grass blades
my very own nature crown
Here, I feel gratitude
For this one moment.
And this is one powerful emotion
The realisation of feeling it
The value of the moment.

Gratitude
Is a deep felt emotion
It can bring tears
It can swipe long believed notions.

Right beside

He is snoring right beside
The gentlest of hearts
In a strong body.
It was a long day indeed
The flights we had
The heavens we reached.
Along with him
I feel happy.
And that's what he ensures
That's it.
Rest all is taken care of
By cosmos, nature, timing,
Destiny and him.
We laugh all the times
Sometimes turn all silent.
But it always feels good
Alongside him.
Sometimes we swing together
He paddles the pace
Also sings
It all seems so picture perfect
We amidst nature
On swing with hymns.
His voice is a therapy
It reaches soul
What he sings.
But when he talks
It gains depth
Oh! The charm of it.
He is snoring right beside.
The gentlest of hearts
In a strong body.

On farewell

Why is it
That something becomes
So so special
Only when you leave it?
A person, a place
It's on farewell that you feel
The value of it.
Every flaw becomes invisible
All bright sides
Kind of pull you
But then its farewell time
And you totally feel it.
The gyres of memories
Nostalgic reel
New possibilities.
Of what ifs,
Why nots
You enter the web of it.
Everything reminds you of love
The anger flows with it
You try to stay strong
There amidst the gyre of it.
Why is it
That something becomes
So so special
Only when you leave it?