Maha-Shivratri

I see processions today
People worshipping idols
Making journeys to make
Shiva meet with Parvati.
Fasting to please 'him'
Posing and pretending to be him.
And I see fake dreads
Kohuled eyes.
For a moment
I felt like
Painting Shiva
The face,
maybe Ardha-narishwar
Or even Nataraja.
Then I planned to dance instead
On terrace, the entire night.
But I lacked the intensity.
I lacked that power.
There, that's the point.
Shiva is all about power.
About energy.
And it is not destructive.
If doesn't represent
Culmination.
Instead, it's raw
And shows regeneration.
It's living with the least most needs
It's living life full power.
It's to triumph over your animal self
By realising the inner power.
So I decided
To not go to any temple
For I anyhow am not religious.
But fasting I assembled is good for health
For the weather is changing
So is the elemental power.
And here I bow
To the death and life
And here I breath out
One breath
And I feel alive.
Shiva in me
Parvati as well
I feel the energy
With energy I gel.
Happy Mahashivratri

Once upon a time in Calcutta

Once it ran as the pulse of the city - carrying motives, connecting destinations. The British charm, Hindustani enchantment  - the train is a unique cultural legacy for Calcutta.
Walking upon the trek, I see transcendence - right from those white frilled dresses hanging from the windows in early 18th century - to those colorful turbans and bundles of goods visible from the whooshing door - to this day where I walk on this solitary lanes alone.
The trek still resonates sounds of the time passed by. It has stories of running around the city - at different paces - in it's life's phases.
Now, it stands as the dried rose in an old diary. Still with fragrence.Still holding memories. But now, it is much less visited. Like those specific hours where you need to merge with your roots.

Feel loved

I have but love for you
For all of you
For each one of you.
It is love that I give
To each selves of mine
The one that evolved
With you, with you
And you too.
To travel, passion, music.
To stories of past.
To moments
That didn't last.
But they made me
And I feel
So so free.
Love is filled inside me
Around me.
It is love that I send
To you from me.
Wherever you are
Feel free
Feel loved
For here I am
Still loving you
Like a spirit
So alive in me.
And every tree
I conversed with
Every life
That made me
I love you all
From all my heart.
With no demand,
No desire
But a love
So so free.
For that is what
Makes me -
Me.

~Mysical Wanderer

Those corridors

After so long
In these corridors
Those that I avoided
For so long.
Today, it feels new
Yet so connected.
Today the eyes are full
Of unknown pain
Mixed with relief.
Like a child feels
In the arms of mother.
Like those waves that crash
Upon shores
Return to their
Home.
The eternal sea
The known and the space
For more.
The knowledge
The wisdom.
The peace.
There is love in these
Corridors
Memories too.
But above that
There is this connection
The vibes
Where I grew
Became
What I am.
The meaning of my name
Where I gained
One of the many selves
That together form me
Yeah! These are
A part of me.
These corridors.

Carved forever

I tried to shun this place
So much
That I abandoned my heart
Of it's memories.
Maybe the last splash
Was dark
That the rest of the colors
Lost their trace.
But things carved
Can't ever be removed.
Time corroded the colors
But those memories
The vibes
This feeling
Of sitting here
In this shade
This feeling of being myself
Ready to create.
Somethings are carved
forever
Upon inner psyche.
Some moments build our soul.
This place
And it's vibes
Are one such treasure.

Another Leap

I have faith in you
And I don't wanna loose it
Have waited for it too long
With all my faith and belief.
It's high time now
Gotta take things
In my own hands.
I still have
My belief.
Guide me.
I trust you.
Tell me atleast
In which direction
Should I keep
The next step.
Or maybe
It's time
To simply keep
The first footing
On my own
Like the rest.
But I always thought
I was following my heart.
And in my heart
It was always you
A firm belief.
Guide me cosmos
I still have
My faith in you.
No, I won't let it
Drag on.
The way it has been
For I don't like it anymore.
I want it
As I please.
And you gotta be with me
For I love you
And I trust you.
Show me the way
Or I will step out
In darkness
The way it has
Always been.
You have always given me
Light.
Yet here I collide.
Take me in your arms.
Or no.
Am angry.
I will walk on my own.
But the power is yours
In me.
Aah! I can't even be stubborn
In front of you.
Or maybe
I already am.
Should I surrender?
But there has never been
A war.
Or maybe there is.
But it became that way
And you have always been
By my side
In me.
Let's step out then
To the blind faith
To us
I take another leap.

Valentine's day

Valentine's day
Crazy know!
Years back
I had a fucking breakup
On this day!
I was a teenager
It was so intense.
Last year
I was partying
Celebrating the day
With a closed one
and many others.
Two three years back
I even had a lover
And it was special
This day.
But it was never perfect.
Maybe the utopia
Is constructed
As a false hope.
I have been happy though
Throughout.
Or I tried to be.
For the ups and downs
I now realise
Were all the same like
How life is
And how it should be.
Today I seek the blue star
And aspire
For a sudden surprise.
A bottle of wine
With a guy alongside.
But your company is superb
Dear cosmos.
Below this moon
And so many stars
I feel complete.
Yet I seek
The blue star.
Even the stuff is missing today
So is the energy of another.
Maybe wine and stuff
would sort it out
For you spoil me already
Like your beloved
Dear cosmos.
I had pizza at night
Something I love from heart
And mom and bhai loved me
At night
With blessings and selfless love
Something that touched my heart.
Romance though is another dimension
I feel
For it can't be fulfilled
With family
Or even stars.
Yet I want to stay single
Yet with an open heart.
Relationships endear
Lot of complications.
I like it free
The connection from heart
This night would have been better
With stuff, wine and someone
With as open a heart.
I feel bit weak
While accepting this part
But yeah! I like to be honest
When it comes to heart.
This day specifically makes me feel
Or this moment
This night
The missing blue star.

बचपन

जी कर रहा  है
फिर बच्ची बन जाऊँ
परियों की कहानी
सपनों भरी दुनिया
वो गर्म दोपहार में
छत वाले कमरे में
घंटों खेलना

सपनों की तो आज भी कमी नहीं
खुद के साथ रहूं या औरों के
अक्सर लगता है
जैसे मुझमे कुछ है
जैसे वो मैं बड़ी ही नहीं

नकाबों से परे आज भी
सपने ज्यादा सच लगते हैं
आज भी मीठी गोली लेने
कदम खुद ब खुद
नुक्कड की उस दुकान
की तरफ बढते हैं

अखिर क्यूँ हम वक्त के साथ
खुद को खोना इतना आम
समझते हैँ
आत्म मिलन के लिये अहम है
खुद ही का बचपन .

What next?

I live to travel.
Have a fucking brilliant mind.
A v. Strong hearted person.
Every act - art inclined.
With keen interest did
MA in English literature.
Still wanted to explore life.
Left my city
Entered corporate
Marketing, BD
and similar sides.
It opened up in front of me
An all together new world
Technology, deadlines
New knowledge, new ride.
But the travelling continued
Also my romance
With pen and paper.
A rider I became.
A mountain lover too.
Sea connected to the soul.
Spiritual and mystical
Connections too.
On my way somewhere I entered music.
Composing songs and selling them
Became my life time dream.
While writing a novel mid way
I realised
It is painting that was more
Conversing with my inside.
So I decided to become an artist
Full power
Colouring the world around
Earning my expenses
Through art.
But I am fucking 25
With degrees.
So I should work
Officially.
I do have experience
Along with an year's gap.
And I don't know
What is it
That my heart requires.
Not confused
But wandering still.
Beyond social milestones
I sit and think
'What next?'
I don't know.
A creative pursuit
An artistic experiment
A full power
Corporate suit?
If only the work offered
Becomes dynamic.
If only it keeps changing -
The situations, people,
Places, challenges.
I hate to be inside a cubicle
Time bounded.
I am free soul
With principles.
Now I am bound to take a leap
Decide the next course
Show a solid sheet.
How to show my dream?
How to express my belief?
I don't know my next step.
I want to retain
The artist in me.
I want it to stay
This life in me.
It's all full power
In me, inside me.
But this expectation
Of the world around.
To reach I don't know where
The pull back to the ground.
All I have is
Wonder.
With all empathy
I do understand the concern.
Sometimes
I also feel
It's off run.
Somehow life never seemed
Like a race
Ever since
I began to live it.
It's more of a journey
And am more of a traveller.
And hence
I wonder.

~ Mystical Wanderer

Be my tattoo artist

True. Now I got it.
I was asking all this while.
Or maybe not!
For even I didn't know
What I wanted.

All right Cosmos
Be my Tattoo-artist.
Design the life
That I require.
No I won't ask for it.
But I can express my desire
Full power.
For you are a friend
And I can just come ask
You
How are you?
Like I do to the moon
And stars.
I wear proudly
All my travel scars.
So I can tell you
Cosmos
What I require
But not insist.
For even I
Don't like it.
But am also stubborn
At times.
When I have something specific
In mind.
And you do provide me
With it.
You make it all
Perfectly fit.
And I get
Exactly what I urge
So beautifully true
Right on edge.
Guess this how
I want it to be then
So mystical
A Wanderer.
Every moment
A new surprise.
Every energy
A further high.
To happy moments
Many moons n sun
On this eclipse
I became you
Cosmos
Or you showed yourself
As a mirror image
Of mine.
So on me
My own principles
Get applied.
Which though are negligible
But are v. Crucial
To me n mah existence.
Here I cross another fence.
Another obstruction gets
Nullified.
In the movement of energy
From low to high.
Spiral like
I feel the friction.
Here I take another spun.

In between all those patterns

But of course I was working
All this while
I was travelling yes
Like a Wanderer.
Mission Faqiri
I called the drive.
But I was working as well
Side by side.
Unknowingly
Where my heart resides.
I was promoting travel
The one I consider
As my religion.
I was adorning, sharing
Places
Which offer nature
Which are my temples.
Away from reality
Which feel
More real.
I was talking to stars
Turning to myself
My cosmic power.
I was empowering
My silent words
With depth, with wisdom.
But of course
I was working
In the silent time
Passed by.
With no records
Of imprints
Upon the sand
By waves and wind.
But of course
I was thinking.
That was big work
It left me often
Awe-stuck.
Jaw opened I observed
The patterns.
Muted by time
At times
Chattering big time
Some times.
Words changed shapes.
Hollow then heavy weight.
Aah! The gyres.
They leave you
With nothing in hand.
That nothingness
Was not light.
It was quite heavy
For the mind.
Here I dance again
While whirling to
Another line
Of some pattern
Some web
Some gyre.
And it will take a turn again
I don't know when.
A golden moon
Merged in clouds
Upon my terrace
Behind an ocean
Above a mountain.
It keeps rotating.
But of course I was working
In between
All these patterns.

Had you not spun

I would have been there with you
Had you not spun
The web of love and money
Around me.
Had you not tried
To buy me.
It would have been so good
Just
At the level of humanity.
For I felt the loneliness
Of your soul.
I looked into
The pain in your eyes.
Yet, the web.
I wonder.
Why?
The blunder.
I would have been there with you
Had you not spun
The web of love.

Yet the journey

Journey
People meet in between
Sometimes
One gets attached
The vibes
They touch the soul.
Sometimes.

The separation
Is fixed.
And it is
painful.
Sometimes.

The soul s strong.
The journey goes on.
But the imprints remain.
Maybe invisible
Like the sandy shore
Beside a gigantic sea.
Yet each granule
Sometimes
Gather
In an abandoned cottage
Standing, speaking
Of the time
Gone by.
Time stays still there
In those walls
Corroded by time
Still standing strong
In it's own story.
Yet the journey
It continues.
Only sometimes
Some vibes
They touch the soul.