Kill me

Please kill me God
I wanna die
I really wanna die
It is so senseless
You gave me so many talents
But no outlet
And the frustration.
I feel handicapped
Dependent upon others
Forced to be someone am not
Emotionally blackmailed.
And I feel hollow
There is none
Along with me.
Yeah! We are all born alone
But this alone
Like not even to soul to call mine
None without design
Either people with
Selfish mottos
Or that uneducated crowd
Which feels proud of me
Somehow
I hate it
This kind of life
This staying inside
So limited lines.
I wanna be free
Wanna just be me.
Wanna escape all these silly rituals.
I will go crazy here
In this drama of life.
What are you checking?
How much will you test me?
How much will you examine?
Isn't this long a time enough?
How much you love know
To break me down
To crash me
And see me frown.
I hate to be this bad
Hate to make others suffer
Because of me
But they did the same.
Pulled me out of my happy life
For their silly fag.
Why? Why did I come here?
For this love?
Why was I there?
For that artificial love?
I don't want love.
Or maybe I do.
But intelligible one
Not a blind follower
Neither selfish spur.
It's driving me crazy
This sitting idle.
And you do that
On point
You wanna break me
Break me down
And then they say
I am your child.
Well God! Is this how
You love your child?
Where did I go wrong?
Had I been dishonest?
Had I not cared enough?
Did I not give my all?
Then why this fall?
Why this stagnation
Why the silly gratification?
I never wanted to stop in my life
And here you threw me
Where nothing ever happens
And it is all a silly ditch.
Yeah! People ready to spend
So much money.
All they want from me
Is to be by their side
And yet the expectations
I tell you
They are huge.
They are all engaged
In their own life.
And they pull me to it
Also all my rage.
And I feel every night
Where did my day went
Oh yes! Serving them
And what did I do
I served their silly cause.
Possibly I have become
Lucky of Waiting for Godot
But I don't feel so lucky
It is a bad bad feeling
Enslaved I feel.
In this theatre
In this silly station.
Help me! Guide me!
I feel struck!
But no.
Kill me.
I am dead inside.
What is left to stay alive.
I have taken care of it all
All my desires
All my falls.
People I loved are all settled
People I love
I gave myself
Now it is me
And the oh so many talents
You gave to me
Now I guess
I can die
For I have lost my
Spirit to fight
For I see no reason
To live
I have absolutely
Nothing to live
Eat, sleep, survive
Is not my kind of life.
This can't be the fate
Of your child.
It is said that we do
What we are born for
And if we somehow die
Then it continues
In the next birth.
I fail to realise
The purpose of my life.
I fail to see
Why the joys and strife.