Delhi to Manali

Can't believe... I am in a bus. Like travelling again. I had been crying and craving for it - so much that I got comfortable in that pain.
Now this is what I love about my life - the spontaneous when it happens. This is real calling. Like this spontaneous. It has zero planning involved. No efforts as well. It is just happening.
Here I am sitting in a local bus at fucking 1 AM because I suddenly felt like it. Would you believe it? And my family for the first time happily agreed though with those hidden tears of being far from me. And friends came to drop me till the bus depot. And I have a seat all to myself. No struggle at all. I don't even know what am carrying for I couldn't think of my clothes properly.
I somehow feel that I have taken everything that I may need. It will snow within a day or two over there. I am sure about it. So so excited.
For now I have planned to go to Old Manali for it is 25th December now and I would love to sip my wine amidst Himalayas in a cool cafe in Old Manali.
Maybe I will go to Bir from there. New year can be in Kasol. I don't know. I have kept it open. Rather not even in a direct bus. I will keep it open and reach wherever my intuition will take me.
I feel like jumping right now. So happy I am. Now it would have been all the more better to share this happiness with someone - I wanted it to be with someone after so many solo trips. But it was so sudden - the urge to go that I couldn't think of people.
And solo is obviously my love. I have my own company and I so love it.
This year has been bit stagnant in the middle but I have evolved into a lot more creative person now.
The year though had begun in Pondicherry with the most mesmerising sunrise of my life. It deserves a perfect ending. Maybe the most ecstatic sunset.
My birthdays once journeyed from Kashmir to Kanyakumari and New year mornings will now reach from Pondicherry to Himachal.
It is in Himachal that I had fallen in love with travel. Ever since I was a kid. It means a lot to me.
Last I was there was in May and June. It will be fucking cold now.
I am so looking forward to it.
Though my plan was to go to Goa and chill wearing my favourite 'kati fati dresses' but this is how life is always right - a surprise.
You never know what's at the next turn. Let's see where I will ride.
Excited. Dreamy. Happy.
~Mystical Wanderer
.....................
Coffee and a smoke - at a local dhaba - middle of nowhere - while on a trip... Nothing like that isn't it? Well, just had one such moment. The moon is missing. Am all on my own. Feeling beautiful and classy.
Had left my home after a warm shower with my favourite wash. I realised it will be long now to have that feel again.
So feeling all fresh and free in this solo trip - my journey.
A dog just became my friend - he barked upon a bitch feeling all possessive about me. He came and caressed my hand and foot gently asking for his pat.
I was crazy about dogs once. And they were all my friends - no matter which part of earth - whichever Street.
Somehow I had lost that interest in my life. Here I am again close to a huge set of souls once again.
I felt loved, secure. As if he gave me good luck and confidence of Mystical Wanderer. The bus is moving towards Chandigarh. We had stopped at Ambala. These are all but checkpoints. But the journey matters right - every single part of it.
So here I am sitting in a dark bus with a movie of night world on either sides. Tonight it is not static on my terrace. Instead it is racing with a raging sound taking my soul gently to it's home.
..............

It's raining along with lightening. In Chandigarh. This time the seat is in front. Along with the driver and people. The cockpit.
The lightening is insane. Morning 6AM. Still pitch dark only illuminated by the sparks in sky.
I should sleep. It's been two days. But I don't wanna waste even a single moment. Wanna absorb it all in.
This feeling free.
The background music in the bus though is Punjabi and I am not a fan of it. But it is all alive and it's still my journey. And I value it for it is special.
The silver criss crosses are boosting me up with power. They transcend me to some other time - another journey - in a train. I was returning back from Bangalore.
This is now though. And it has a strange vibe about itself. The reason though is unknown to me. I don't even know the source. But it's a gift from cosmos - this trip - this travel for my core.
...............

Roopnagar.. It is always a bliss to be here... Adorned by blue hills all around, it has a blue river flowing in it's heart. The name just complements the enchanting vibes of the place.
It's morning. Post rain earth fuming with aroma of a wet mud mixes with the aroma of tea's vapours in my palms.
I feel lucky. Christmas morning. And I am on a journey. A beautiful one.
..................

In Mandi... Will have sugarcane juice now. It's 3 of afternoon. Christmas has no visibility over here. I wanted to reach in morning. it will be difficult to figure out a place in evening.
But this trip means alot to me. I am living each moment of it. This - sitting at an unknown road. Looking straight into sun on a chilly day.
Had I got a Volvo bus I would have reached by now. Atleast from Chandigarh I should have got something. But that's fine. It's a spontaneous thing and it is in spontaneity that it's beauty lies.
Now I could have got down at Bhuntar and moved on to Kasol but that I can do later. Christmas has to be in Manali.
Maybe tommorow or day after I will go to Prini. Or let's keep it open ended.
What if I meet Gonzalo in Manali. It would be a dream come true. Who knows it all has a reason. I k ow I will meet that kid atleast once more in my life. Maybe it was all my trip. Maybe he was cosmic. Whatever it is, I must meet him again. Whenever the time is right. I no more seek him or go to find him. Long done with that. But I do wish to meet him everytime come over here.
The bus is finally almost empty. I didn't change my seat that I badly wanted to.
I feel alright here. Plus it is empty again the seat beside me. Initially it was some uncle with whom it wasn't comfortable to sit. Morning brought a girl with whom I finally established some connection. By that time she had to leave. I had judged her initially but later felt her aura to be lovely.
I have to open again. I have become way too reserved with time. Also I have to keep my presumptions and judgements in check.
One reason can be that I have not slept for two nights and it will be my third night to finally sleep tonight. The short power nap in morning though worked it's wonder.
The bus moves again. Next halt would hopefully be Manali.
Here a man beside me again. No I seriously don't get it. I mean half the bus is empty. Why does he have to come and sit beside me. But he will. Judgements check.
Alright. So to be on the brighter side, it's Christmas and my gift is this travel. Few hours more and I will be in a dream world.
Now I know some places in Old Manali where I can easily get an affordable room but I don't wanna stay at the same place again. The experience has to be different right.
Let's see. How it turns out to be.
...............

Reached!
............

I have got a nice room for myself. It's cosy because of it's people. Don't even remember it's name now. It took me one hour of walk along with my luggage to finally get a room. And guess what they even have colors to fill my empty sheets.

Right now in a chilled out cafe. It's Christmas. I miss my family in glimpses though. There are lot of people - they are all in group. I don't know what to do sitting in this cafe alone. Ha ha. It's been months that I have solo travelled. But it is Christmas and I will make it special.
I still can't believe I am here. Sitting in Himachal. Just what I wanted to do. I went to Drifter's first. It is always kind of over packed. But there was some live music happening. But this place know, it kind of has much better vibes. Also about the availability of place. But it is about ...

Woah! Had some kick ass conversation. The person managing it is so nice. He introduced me to the other two. We conversed for good 3 hours. It was amazing. Now it feels like Christmas. Or maybe now I feel like Mystical Wanderer.
The colorful lights, the crazy conversation, the high of it. It feels superb. It feels great.
Crazy.
Insane.
Will pick some stuff up and move on from here.

Magic. It's all magical. Crazy and insane. I feel in love with the place. In love with music and vibes. So so mesmerising - this moment. This now.
So beautiful is my present.
I feel so beautiful. Like the cosmos is in love with me again. Such magic.
Some cafe - Merry Christmas. Himalayas I love you. You are always a pleasure for my soul.
So trippy. So touchy.
I am overwhelmed.

.................

The first step - again!

I am just nervous - to get up and step out. This melancholy has become my warm comfort hole. I wanna stay inside and move out at the same time.
All that is stopping me is me. It can be a whole new beginning. Or maybe a perfect end?
Let's do it. Let's just do it.
Just the thought is making me excited. So many shades of colors boom in my mind. I can dance with this sudden gained energy.
The plan. The plan. I have none. Go with flow? What if? Chuck it.
Just go. Go. I can do it. I will do it. I don't know why how and where. But I can feel where to. Not sure of the added option? Should I? Isn't it...? Let's try? That's later.
For now. Let's go. So much motivation required for this? What has happened to me? To imagine the other side is also me.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's feel the flow. The end will be as spontaneous as the beginning. Rather I will beat my own records.

Just imagine
What will I do
If I see you
Once again.
I will laugh
With the twinkle of my eyes
Matching with yours.
And we will have
Our very special lingo.
Funny
How I imagine
What might never happen
Or may be
It will.
It will.
But would I be the same?
Do I wait for it?
No.
But I want it.
So so want it.
And feel that vibe
That warmth.
The trance -
Your charm.

Hours of emptiness

The hours of emptiness
You try to fill them
With plans, with people
With spontaneous actions.
You dress up
Look so good
But the right occasion
That is missing.
So an artificial creation.
If not original
Then the supplement.
Waiting.
These hours.
The time running out.
The time so ample in hand.
You wanna will it away.
You wonder
Why is it getting late.

My own Meta-human

So if you get a chance to go back again to one of your pasts...where will you go?
I, well I thought about it and I was immediately transported to one spot. And then the spot before that. Which made me wonder, what if this today becomes yet another spot in some future time? And I realised, everything had it's own relevance in past - each and every single dot. It was all incomprehensible at that point, in that state of mind. But now I can see it clearly, once it has all happened and now it's like a cloud.
Flash got a chance to go into his past, he didn't change it. Later he did change. What if I get to change. What will I change? Would I? But wasn't it the opportunity cost. Can I sacrifice what I got instead of first? I think each had it's value. All taught me something and made me what I am today.
I think I am way too passive in present. But am I not gaining depth at the same time? I know I will miss this too. For this too makes a part of me in my journey.
Flash though worked hard to get his power back. He didn't feel complete without his power. I just need my wander. Mystical Wanderer seeks her travels - at the same extensive level. Once your life becomes extraordinary. Ordinary stays a charm only when you taste it in little amount. Ordinariness is so not me now. It all seems mundane - this life - the one everyone leads.
I just can't give up my dreams. Can't be ordinary. Why else would I have lived in so much extra-ordinariness for so long.
I wouldn't have been subjected to so much of magic in my life. I would then have been satisfied in the normal. But I have grown out of those dimensions.
Moon is different amidst mountains accompanied by so many constellations and this tiny light of cosmos right upon my head trying to calm my crown chakra.
Flash got to go in the land of speedforce. Would I get to go back to my cosmic land as well? For that I got to get back my wander. The key is hidden in the lock. The answer is right in the question.
Got to figure out. Time travel? No. But the past knew a better technique? I too have Dr. Wells in my life. Like had a few of them. For I learned from many. Many are no more there building me further up.
I am all on my own. My own inspiration. My own goldsmith. My own Meta-human.

Vibe connections

For past two days I had been feeling anxious. So anxious that it was difficult to even sleep. Yet I slept for 15 long hours still waking up to a feeling of distress. A suffocation that I couldn't have described. Like something choking my lower throat. Like a heavy weight upon my chest.
I just came to know about this attack of Syria where so many people are suffering because of chlorine gas attack. It made me cry out of distress.
Could they have been connected? I mean I stay so far from them in India. Could I have been catching their vibes and the pain and suffering in it?
This is not the first time that this has happened to me. Often times I realise that the sudden mood swing was timed at the same moment when something huge occurred somewhere else.
Do I feel the energies even far from me?
After all aren't we all connected at the level of our consciousness? Are we not one common unit spread in so many shapes like a mirage. How would one not feel pain if the body gets hurt anywhere?
I can now understand the reason behind my burning eyes. How can I help is what I wonder? How can sending positive vibes to them help them who are sending their last messages to the world?
People who are alive in one moment and blown right then?
And if we are just recycled atoms of the five elements - who knows how many of them do I share my DNA with.
It is my soul which is hurt. My legs are paining. Mind so anxious that I have no control over it. I just wanna cry. And I don't know the reason of it.
I felt like I would die the last night. I felt I was having this psychic revelation with knowing my death before it's occurrence.
It seems insane to me even now - this idea of connecting that disaster to my sudden nervous breakdown but I know that the connection lies. For I can feel it.

Halfway closed!

Halfway closed!

Red and gold
Full round in sky.
A blue star.
Many stars.
Flashes of lightening
In different directions.
All over.
Like shooting stars.
Only missed by micro- seconds.
Trance of death
And life.
Streaks of moment.
Halfway closed.
The other half free
Tapping wildly.
Like the tail of a lizard
Wriggling right after
A fresh cut.
The red drowning
Behind a web.
Becoming a silhouette itself
In the grey mist.
I follow the moon
Till it becomes
An after effect.
A mirage.
A trail.
A sip of raw taste.
Sour and cold.
Rustic.
I return.
Watering the life around.
Another spun.

Kisse

Zindagi paani ki tarah
Behti jaati hai
Reh jaate hain
To kisse.
Hum aisa karte they.
Wahan aisa hota tha.
Wo ankhon ki chamak
Wo man ki khushi
Ek ehsaas hi to reh jaata hai
Jaise UN kaale aur safed
Sangeet ke suron mein
Koi ek lay choot gyi ho
Jaise dhadkan achanak
Kuch tez ho gyi ho.
Koi ek dhun
Koi baat
Achanak yaad dila deti hai
Mushkil SE thami lehron mein
Ufaan laa deti hai.

The extremes!

The extremes! Good and the bad. It all gets balanced - every act.
After insane activity, follows hollowed passivity. The stability part also falls somewhere in the middle of many waves around a calm core.
Let the light get filtered from the window of ancient rocks. It will give you wisdom of time. It will make you a rock.
Do remember to melt into finer element - the one which is sold upon those glass rags of the multiplexes. Or else be the light. Yes let it rip open your every pore. Dance with the trinkets rounds your anklets. Let them ring to the music of your heart.
Becoming rain drops right outside that window us also an alternative. But you gotta wait for the right moment. That falls occasionally. Oh but imagine the weightlessness, the peace of a free flow. Of letting yourself be whatever comes your way. Changing forms, changing shapes, flowing so.
Or else, be invisible. Be the void. Simply die. Stay alive. Aah! The extremes. They all get balanced.
Laugh and cry.