In love

It's a beautiful moment
Have fallen
In love with myself
Again
And it feels beautiful
Colourful and energetic.
I feel my skin
So smooth
I caress it
Had ignored it
For long.
And I hug myself
For being so strong.
Silly desires
I now want them.
Those dreams kept
At a window sill
I want them all.
And I will make them
Real
For myself.
Have fallen
In love with myself.
And I feel so wiped clean.
Freshly born
Into this being.
A beautiful beginning
Have fallen
in love with myself
Again.
I can feel the magic
Happening
The one that happens
When you are in love
Like I see the moon
Suddenly
I laugh
For no reason.
I feel content
With my life.
I wanna feel and give
just love.
And I feel connected
To the world at large
Through this small thread
The thread of love.
And I feel so powerful
Like I can move earth
And feel it's soul
Beyond surface
Into it's depths.
I think I have fallen
In love with myself
Again.
- Surbhi Rohera

It closed for best

It was beautiful
The time that we had
I cherish each moment
Even your scent
The joy of union
Doing art.
Every prance, each laughter
Our world from rest
Apart.
We closed the book
The next chapter
Had a risky start.
Or who knows
For it died
The spirit between
Feeling alive.
No, the connection
That is still there
Or so I believe.
But am tired
Of carrying this weight.
This doing of fate.
And I think
It closed for best.
For how else
Would it have been
Differently
Same like rest.
But that was unique
What we had.
Now that it is no more
It fails to seem
Like something to be had.
In absence it was present
Until I decided
To relax.
To let those Barbies
Of my childhood
Be inside
A closed shelf.
With this I dab
the last amber
And put the bud
With respect
Deep into the
Layers of time
A golden ball
Now to accept.
And move on
To the life ahead.
The one with new
Sunrise new
Sunset!
- Surbhi Rohera

Kids made of love

Imagine the kids made of
Core love
Not just a relationship.
They are born not
For the sake of it
But because
They are supposed to be
There.
Imagine the passion, the extreme
The purity in which
The DNA is mixed.
Imagine a world
Made of kids
Full of passion and love.
Output of an intimate kiss.
On that cold bare shoulder
Touch of moist lips.
One little caress
And borns
A sensation, a bridge.

Stoic

After all those tremors
There was silence.
Deep silence.
It caused no pleasure,
No pain.
It was stoic.
Like a world
Which never existed.
Like an absence and not
Presence - felt more.

Of rise and fall

The voices of centuries
Talk through those walls
The ancient Grandeurs
Of rise and fall
The mystique tells
A tale so old
Of royalty,
Amidst commoners
About journeys
Of love and war.
Listen with that ear
Get closer to the wall
Maybe you are lucky
To have a wisp, a call.

And when you do
Hear a voice
To get surprised
Just connect
To the past with heart
Give your life
Another start.
And be what you are
Destined to be.
And become exactly
What you want to be.

Between passion and profession

They say
Follow your dreams
They want
An expensive stream.
A bridge
To be made
Between passion and professional
An image in real
To create and relate.
The meanings change
With centres of the circle
Sometimes
The entire image
Shifts it's epicentre.
And yet
The stoic image
That relates
To everything invisible
But not an empty slate.
Available to be wiped clean
Of time
Of deeds.
Ready for a new dome
Inside embedded.
Look that's the movie
Of death and life.
Along with survive
It means to revive.

Expectations

All those hopes
From the good old
Version of you
Suddenly generalised
In the doings of
Some mentality
With cruelty.

Empty vessel

The empty vessel craved
For one more drop
To fill it atleast
With a single block
But the emptiness filled it
Deep till it's root.
An empty progression of a pregnant root.

Reason to smile

Knowledge is there
But the pain
This hollowness.
I try to treat it.
Look for a reason to smile.
Cause of happiness.

I keep dancing
Like always
Without any reason.
But that happiness know
That is missing.
It enters in
And then vanishes
Into thin air.
The hasty steps
With a sudden boost of energy
Heart craves to be happy.
But the thoughts
They too seem missing.
Or they bring anger.
Guess am even done with
Nostalgia.
It's more of an empty space.
Like a patch of soil scared
To die barren.
Like a bird
Afraid
To just be shot
One fine day
And not have
Her destined flight.
The soul inside
Tried to give advice.
It says,
'Time keeps changing.
Remember that day
You were crying
In a corner
Long back
Thinking
Your world was over.
But it was not.
It was difficult.
But you were strong.
You faced it all.
Crying inside.
Yet standing tall.
And the time did change.
A dream life
Happened in your fate.
Then another such night.
Remember? Another room
Another city
You were crying
Kissing walls
Afraid to leave
What you called
Your stall.
But you left
To find
An even better den.
Wilderness was inside
Wild outside.
You loved it all
Jumping at every call.
And this is yet another phase.
Probably too hazy
To make sense of it now.
Hold on. Grab on to life.
You can do it.
You have done it
So far
At every fall.'

But I feel lost
Bewildered and stopped.
I am unable to fly
A strange weight inside
Something covers me
A pale shroud.
I feel the gloss missing.

'Never mind. It will all be fine.
Keep dancing..keep trancing.
Have faith in yourself.
You gonna rock it.
You have been
An inspiration.'

But I feel lost.
Like a ship
Dooming every moment
Deep into the sea.
Drowning into that darkness
So silent. So alone.
I doubt my fire.
I am done with desire.
Or probably it is
Too much of desire.
I just hate to compromise.
I would rather have none
If rather than my share
I get some.
I want to have what I want
And I detest cunning crowd.
I seek peace and love.
I wanna travel.
It's music I wanna make.
It's art I wanna create.

'Then do it.
Who is stopping you.
Dive in
Like you always do.
You had always taken
Blind shots.
What scares you?'

Nothing. Nothing scares me.
I am afraid of anything.
Also I need nothing.
None for strength.
Or so I feel.
But there are times
When I wanna depend on someone.
I want love in Lee.

'Really?
Had you not been
An anti- attachment person?'

I will say
I want to be
An anti-attachment person.
But am not.
Also that's not
What I mean here.
It's that pole star
I seek
To show me
The right direction.
From a panopticon vision
From that cloudy peak.

'Woah! Why are you trying to be
So fucking righteous.
Since when have you began
to calculate
Risks so malicious.
Jump on. Take the step.'

Aah! I feel lost.
So direction less.

'Have faith. Believe yourself.
It will all be fine.
Leave on time.

Cool Yo.
I leave on time.
Test of time.
Yet even this time
I will stand tall.
I will still be fine.
No challenge for you
My destiny
I still believe
In cosmos, in my entity.
I don't need a reason to be happy
The moment I decide
To be happy
Here I smile.

- Surbhi Rohera

Sensation is intense

The skin craves for touch
That one sensation
To pluck out the clutch
Can it be some kind
Of hysteria?
Should I call it abnormal
To not consider
Or change so easily.
To no more crave.
To one day long for it.
To another detest it.
Indeed, the sensation
Is intense.
For I can feel my
Entire nervous system.
It's sensitive creed.
I notice my breath
Suddenly
Heaving at some pace.
I lie flat down on bed.
But the feet
They touch each other
Until my legs simply fold
And anxiety out of those
knees - Flutter.
I feel so energetic and restless
Yet something inside
craves to surrender.
Not like a battle field,
But a place to give your all
A vent for your inner thunder.

I add on effects
With some playlist
It says
Sensual musiq.
I wonder when will
The chords
Touch my heart.
I wait till end from start
Strange beats
Surprisingly cheap.
It kills my mood
This strange musiq.
So I switch
To my own inner noise
Of songs of past
Of imagined choice
The lures of highs and lows
The trance of prancing core.
And I feel perplexed
In the intensity of the moment
Until the doorbell rings
Enters - the mysterious scent.

-Surbhi Rohera

The moments alone

The moments alone
Are no longer a botheration
I wonder how I can spend now
Hours, days, weeks
Even months.
Silent.
Not speaking to anyone.
Not thinking of anyone.
But a picturesque
Of unconnected thoughts
And unplanned doings.
Some contemplations.
Imagined wooings.
But I don't mind it.
Except sometimes.
When the heart cries
All of a sudden.
The glass full
Uptill the brink.
And I crave
For those arms
To not hold me.
Rather, to move right along
And dance.
And I miss those sounds
Of morning conversations
On hills, on ground.
And I seek
Some new connections.
I crave for
Psychological satisfaction.
Sometimes,
I do get disturbed
By random interested suitors.
By strange set of hands.
And I coil inside
By the sudden force of it.
Or probably
I do let it hit.
But it's always
That the circle rotates.
And I find it
Much better
Inside my shell.
Inner peace.
The calm state.
So I clean up the slate.
To begin yet again.
The journey inside.
Deep inside
The shallow plain.

- Surbhi Rohera

Hopes

It's very depressing
The dull rain these days
I feel so happy at one moment.
The very next, I feel enraged.
Maybe we call these
Mood swings.
Maybe this is
Some level of being insane.
Wasn't life maddening enough?
Aah! That was insane.

But I am a fighter.
Fighting fate everyday.
Once I was proud of my life
The fact that I had stood for my faith.
And it seemed inspiring
To the world.
Or so was my intention.
To make them believe
In their dreams.
To just have this die hard attitude
Towards all your desires
Until achieved.
Stars were in my favour.
In Karma I had belief.
But Time took it's toll.
Showed me places
I never wanted to see.
And here I sit experienced
Watching the time's spree.

And now I feel
It's not enough to just dream
Until your hard work
Doesn't meet with good luck
It all goes wasted.
You keep slipping
At every steep.

But then I wonder
Am I trying enough?
Isn't it a temporary relief?
I have instead
Closed my eyes
Waiting for the road
To help me get free.
I have entered the core of earth
And I dream of a passenger
Walking on crust
To just know
There is life deep below
And undug me out
And help me somehow
And make me utilise
My power to my surprise.
Have I forgotten the magic?
Is it all gone.

Fie! Said the inner voice.
You have it all.
Get up.
Atleast take the first step.
And it will all be
A cake walk.
Just believe
In your lines and hand.

But which way, which side?
What if, it's another curve
To the ditchy ride?

More the curves, better it is.
Highs and lows
Satisfy senses.
That's how you feel.
That's how you believe.
It's a test of time.
Just listen to your
Inner rhyme.

Till when? I wonder.
What if it remains forever.
What if the dream happens never?
What if I die tommorow?
I won't regret as such
The way I have settled
In this cosy nest.
Just the dream of that flight
Will die with me.

Provided, you let it.
Have patience.
You have it all.
Your lines too
Have a loyal call.
Just be happy
And fix it.
It is all in your mind
The lows or heights of it.
Have faith and wait.
And one day
Set it right.
Probably now.
Maybe tommorow.
What is important
Is to believe in your flight.
Time keeps playing.
Trick is - to keep glowing.
To wear your scars
Like jewels.
To not complain.
But change your rules.
Cosmos knows it all.
Nature won't let you fall.

Hopes! Sometimes they seem so shallow.

Written by - Mystical Wanderer

Ambitions killed alive

If I say 'Yes'
Echoes back 'No'
If I consider a beginning
I am asked
'How come you?'
I surrender to the time
And enter my grave
Upon my own feet.
Here the lid is ignored.
Faces don't even peep.
But some do
Either out of love
Or maybe duty.
To curse, to question
To remind me of my duty.
I get up
All zombied
To look at a town
Of elite.
Where things appear
Which are not.
Where mundaness
Is the only call.
More I think of life
More it kills me from inside.
And I wish for some deadly disease
I can't live with time on freeze.
The patience is still there
But I can feel it
The death of my golden hair.
Bit by bit I die everyday.
Probably I miss the life
I miss today.
Graves get boring if
You are still alive.
Life seems venomous
When ambitions are killed alive.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera

Bonds of love

The rabbit felt caged despite of two pretty kids taking care of it -feeding it, pampering it. But world outside had freedom. He thought about all the risks involved - the survival moments...and yet, freedom was what he craved for. If only he was not chained with love.
There was no restriction as such but he knew that his going will make those kids really sad. And the rabbit loved those kids alot.
He had left the world, it's freedom, the green forest - just for the sake of love.
But the forest still entered his psyche - day and night - as if his soul was left behind.
And yet, he felt lucky to get so much of true love and care - which was simply impossible anywhere else.
If only, the kids had a home in forest. But that would have pulled them in danger. Aah!How complicated can life be sometimes. He thought of the green grass, the blue sky. Inside those walls, there were cushions and luxuries of all kinds. But no ground to run and no air to breath.
The kids loved him alot but they felt sad coz the rabbit had forgotten to hop. They wanted him to jump and run inside their walls or in balcony. Was it possible? Could the vivacity of a forest be ever compromised with those walls? Rabbit used to wonder.
The kids were worried for him. They even asked him to go for his pleasure. But the rabbit knew that they will be alone without him. That he was one of their happiness.
Only sometimes, things used to go offhand. His mention of forest was suffice to bring that sadness and defense upon those children's faces. He knew he couldn't get happy at the cost of their happiness.
Only that sometimes, the kids used to get angry with his sadness and say, 'You just don't wanna run. If you were happier in forest, why did you come back? Go away if you want to. We don't care. You were never ours. You are just selfish'.
The rabbit used to get really sad for he really loved them way too much. Be knew it was their love that had become anger with time. He just didn't feel like running inside those walls.
He dreamed of forest but was attached to those walls. He craved for his freedom and independence, but also loved his bondage of love.
Sometimes, life doesn't leave you with much of a choice but to let it all happen. However, you often wonder - till when..
Until one day, you just take a decision and decide the next course of your life.

Written by - Surbhi Rohera