Like a child believing

I miss you my faith
faith of being taken care of
that nothing can hurt me
When I'm with you.
I miss you Shiva
That sensation of woo
The magical landing in your arms
The grandiloquence, you.
I miss you dear cosmos
Silently guiding me
Through unknown ways
In the lands of wilderness
In plains of curfews.
You always knew the way.
And I simply followed you.
That inner voice.
I miss you.
I've turned myself mute.
So dead. So not me -
Without you.
But I feel abandoned
While I am extremely loved.
Maybe, this is also you.
But I feel betrayed, displeased,
Broken by you.
You guide me till the top
And throw me down
Always on that last step
Before the Pinnacle.
When I feel so confident,
So one with you
You leave me
You dissolve in crew.
And I feel alone, helpless.
No I don't care about success
For the zeal comes
Only when am with you.
Yet a flame stays kindled
Buried deep inside
Layered by my ego.
Yet I know
I miss you.
And I feel silly
Everytime that I get up
Yet again
Carrying you.
Like a child believing
That her toy will one day
Turn real.
Her dreams will one day
Come true.
As I stare at the lifeless perfection
In my pretty dolls
Sitting lifeless on bamboo furniture
And a broken girl looks at them
Hoping for them
To stand up and talk
And affirm her unique entity
To tell her
She is not the crew
While the drops seems lost amidst waves
More hopeless while being thrown with waves
To random shores, to the depth of her sea
For she doesn't know you.
Yet she misses the faith in ocean
The trust that she belongs to something huge.
Aah! I miss you.
I miss you.
My cosmos, my Shiva, my faith in myself, my faith in you.